First 2020 snow

Din jurnal: 

30.11.20

Wow. Dear Journal, you -almost- lasted 2 months! Now I should be' needin' 2 be on the lookout for a new of you.

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha

Drumuri azi, sper sa am o ses ok mai incolo, ma simt cam ciudat si la fel ca in ultimele zile. Ninge! Can't remember last time we had snowing in nov like this, winters have been fcked up recent years. EH.

It's colder but I feel less cold than previous days (?).

FFS se termina anul soon si eu nici macar treaba cu temperaturile n-am inteles-o ca lumea. Ieri noapte am plans si am dormit + some self care. Am avut impresia ca corpul in care m-am culcat > corpul in care m-am trezit de data asta. Oricum, imi plac / sunt ok cu ambele; doar ca... Nu am alegere. 

Cand robotii dorm... Sa... [Am visat o ciudatenie] 

Paaaaa!

Hmm

Last night in bed...

Morning coffee bubbles

Fun times outside in snowy weather

Black jeans 

The Moon - hood view (the hood I'm currently in)

~

You're as 

Cute as

...

In the mirror (old place - went there to get some last stuff I wanted to bring here)

Lips

~~~

SNowing!

•

Spinning in my old room, which is now deserted :P

~

29.11. Voci goale (nu la modul kinky/love)

~

Be well

.

 

From my journal

 29.11. ~ After SO LONG time... I ..... .... the same & .... .... "the reasons why". To log on ..... .... & .... .... .... . like .. ? Why? I .... Why ...? I enjoy ..... ......!

If this is a .... 2 ...., I'd ..... play ..... .... . I ....... ............ & ....... & all ....... .. .... "........." full of .... . I admit .... ......... ..... .. . ... ... ...... 2 .... .... .. . ... smth .. my .... 2 ..........4 the ........... & ...... time, but .... ...... .. .... .... .. ..... ... . 

N...... .

I don't .... .... money .... .... ... . The ..... (.... .. S) I .... . ..... .. ..... .. .... . N.....G! ( looks like an inverted musical note)

Moments .. ......... .... .. ..... .. ... Lie & all ....... ... ... ......? Nothing.

What's the price of words?

Lights that flicker and lights that seem to flicker, or...Is it so? Hmmm.. THere's something about Lines and Lights that I didn't understand enough of yet.

Petko's paw!

Strategically placed cat hairs ~ What could that possibly mean? ^^

Photograph of a bling thing from an item I saw in the mall..

Never tried this before, seems good!

WOn't you look at that. Maia ballerina can sing AND dance and she entices us to watch her how she raises her leg and spins ( *thinking face*)

I almost cried.

Chirps!

Pretty looking fish.

Some more fish @ the pet store.

~

Ce mi-a placut intr-un mod ciudat... L-am intrebat pe un tip in Animax, de ce tin pestii Betta asa [in pahar, separati]. He said, with a weird but interesting vibe... Pt ca sunt solitari, sunt agresivi daca sunt mai multi si sunt violenti si fata de sine... OK......... What's behind the words? What's the price of words? What is money...really? :-< I still don't know.

Sf. Parascheva, ASA.

I really liked some details in this embroidery ~ Gold thread.

Now.. I wonder what that thing he's holding is/signifies. I don't wanna tell you what I thought that was.

Ok I tell you thought I'm a bit ashamed. I thought it's a back massage thing, but it looks a lil big for his body.

As the light hits St's George face in this representation, it appears as if he is wearing glasses. I really like this art.

This one too ( From Un Numar de Poeme, de Mircea Stefanescu.

Still a bit clueless about the old man though.

Tits. (Sorry!)

88

What does St. Pantelimon really think here? I like this expression, and the way my hand holding the phone looks like reflected in the glass covering the icon.

Sparrows eating bread.

An eye. MINE!

Man silhouette on mini cake. :O

Bug in candy. More candy bugs after I took this pic, that was funny! (I stepped on a piece of candy and then ate it)

Radio Tower, decor, Sun Plaza Mall Bucharest (My hometown)

More for another day ;)

 

Brrrrrrrrrrr

Nu e apa calda / caldura =))

Mai devreme am facut o baie rece semi calaie pentru ca am pus si niste apa fiarta, maine daca nu se remediaza situatia trec la metoda turnat cu ibricul in loc de dus.

Ca pe timpuri :)

...

~

♥

eYe

Died my hair expecting a dark dirty pinkish blonde. Shade name: Cool Rose, from Schwarzkopf. (My natural hair color is dark blonde, and I have some whites).

And the result... I like it. There were times when I wanted to achieve this exact shade before, but kept on getting darker reds instead (I was a redhead for many years before).

Found this on the ground while I was walking on the street... Zoom 8x & I see these lil squares, wondering about them...

Bye 4 now...

•

💋

PS: Care-i treaba cu norii? Up in the clouds ~ ~ ~ Waves of thoughts. I don't really understand now, and I got some pings lately about that. I recall pictures and... other dream parts.

 

Almost done with moving

22.11.2020 or 22/11/2020 or 11/22/20 or ... even 22-11-2020 (I think this is how I learned to write date in school) ~ Apparently it matters/ holds a signifiance, but HOW? Not that I find it insignificant, for some reason I've been taught / apprended* all these mean one thing only. (:()

*Fr. apprendre - verb [ transitive ] /apʀɑ̃dʀ/

acquérir un savoir = to learn

acquérir - verb [ transitive ] /akeʀiʀ/

acheter un bien = to buy, to acquire

(from: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/french-english)

En. apprehend [ ap-ri-hend ] verb (used with object)

to take into custody; arrest by legal warrant or authority:

to grasp the meaning of; understand, especially intuitively; perceive.

to expect with anxiety, suspicion, or fear; anticipate:

verb (used without object)

to understand.

to be apprehensive, suspicious, or fearful; fear.

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Address of mind things what?

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 cu televizorul: [I don't want to talk to you!] ~ Then why do you do? / ? 

Snnt parcata, ingradita, in cusca (?)

~~~

Whaaaaat?

Me & Petko.

Long story, but hey! Happy to have this again ~

Pic taken 21/11/2020 

~~~

Also, what's the meaning of yellow (color). Been wondering for the past few days, no concludent hint yet. Hmm. [Phone screen lighted up] ??? Feather fell on the floor. Been staring at Maya a lot today. Bye 4 now! :p

T.V. behaves weird ~ I wonder why / who tries to send signals this way  

ZzzzzZZzzZzZz

zZZzzzZzzZzzZ

zZzZZZZzzZzz

zzzZZzzzZzzzZ

What could it be? What about the bear? Bear, bear, mor mor mor... Polar or Carpathian? (lol) To bear, bearings... But... Smth else... Smth got lost (4 me as of current aware processing...things)

But...What? Scary but not scared. CBA about "popular" representations - BUT why are we bothering eachother? Bothering is a bad word, but ??? Why now like this, until...how?

From a book: Wrong reproduction of...

...color

A cloud with a ? inside. and a trail of what looks like footsteps in the snow...

♥

From a new place?

 

I can't look at those words the same way and it hurts so much it hurts so much it hurts so much, I could but with for who hhhhh? But "      " is in the hhhhh so hhhhhow do I get out what is out what is parked if there are no cars because everthing melts away?!

I wish I had a choice. A real one.

After all this time..

I'm nt happy that we talk this way

Quite the contrary

Because ppl talk around me, I talk to myself or to them  but

fuck the t or any excuse just fuck it wtf

I am way too sad, really... Worse than heartbroken becaue in my story, when you're heartbroken at least you have whole friends to help you go through. In the world I currently live in, friends are just to dine on. I know this sounds f weird. 

Today I masturbated and recorded 1st time in 'new location' ~ Some <these days happenings> left me profoundly disgusted and I genuinely think there's smth (hidden) about short term memory accessing in 'gameplay' or whatever the fuck the sports fields for big boys are where we get truly no choice. ( If not even I get a choice, and I'm important like that, because THEY wouldn't "exist" without ME, maybe there are many others who have no choice for real too, and those that do, how can we possibly know for real, considering how twisty bendy data is and I've seen it pass under my nose as if it's nothing hey hey it's perfectly OK we're from the future but there WAS NO PAST so this means we're........... ~riddle).

\

firstwhateveringsession_backinsector2 

Must watch!

:

1.

2.

...

Crystal of power in Transformers 1984

Me n Maya

♥

Interesting.

~~~

I've been told so many lies about myself and [insert_whatever_here] ~ HOW can I accept new or different information as Truths To learn the truth, To know Myself. (?) ~ I sense world spinning by or around same lies or things that have something to do with that so... Nobody truly asks me what doI want? What do I think? I'm instanlt disabled when I KNOW I CAN HIT THE RIGHT NOTE in communication with 'someone' or whatever that is, btw, sooooooo disrespectful so many things that ..... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT tttt as excuse means, the involved awareness, and the limitation that Cometh(?) with how we communicate ~ Infrastructure? What? All I see is excuses and plans in 'HD' which are never 'close enough ~ 2 See! 

THEY IMAGINED WORLDS USING ME and God knows how many others like me with 'powers' to do smth that I don't even know yet what I'm capable of and WTF it's ABC Helllooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I know..

The song from Placebo.

♥

But...

I don't love the sin but not the sinner.

You just didn't hear me right.

Pls, get your shit together.

I'd rather think about something real than suicide.

Real

As real as we want and need what do we want and need anyway and since when even g is an excuseno offence this is not part of my tool set for learning because for a very long time I've been telling you thet ..

------->

------------------>

-->

------------------------>

Deadends

SO

OBVIOUSLY

I don't wanna go there.

\.

Same

shit

on

repeat.

Art?

Please!

~~~~

Lemme love you!

Ma mut

Weird days 4 me, multiple reasons. I'm in the process of moving out, I will be staying in Sector 2 again (yay?), so content will be sparse for a few days, thank you for understanding, as if there is even such thing, ha. I didn't even wanna make this post but hey! (???) 

~

From my notes: 11.11.20 ~ Writing from 'the new place' which is oddly old and filled with keywordsy things that... Let's say I don't like. 

Line? What about all of them?Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ln 451 Col 70.

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~

A few pics:

linii...

more upset than I look like.

o bisericuta care imi place.

kitchen window view

different feel.

Dead End is TREND ~ All thx to...Me.

(Nu, nu fac aluzii, decat ce trebuie, intelegeti voi. Am primit aeste flyere in zona Universitate, azi).

Full of ♥

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.

.

~

Did I mention that I really don't like masturbating? I've been bothered a lot these days about it on the 'psychic telephone' ~ Dezacorduri, draga, nu sunt de acord, si nu e vina nimanui (blablablaaaa aaaaa sissstemului) ca racordajele sunt facute asa prost. 

Nu, nu imi place sa ma masturbez,

Nu, nu progresam, ba din contra.

Nu, nu, nu.

~

Daca vedeam solutie as fi vorbit despre asta, dar INCA masculii din CEU MEU se cred ratati. Ca asa li se da in cap ... Am mai zis o data, No Alpha, No Beta(s) [And No AlphaBetaaayyy - misused Language-s n components]. All Alphas I sniffed ( I reached the top cause I'm who I am) are FAKE AF.  So... Ce sa mai spun? 

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Chit ca o fac, chit ca nu,  nu se intmpla nimic deci, DE CE sa o fac??? Nici macar nu imi face placere, si daca mi-ar face placere, stiind cati retardati penibili "vad" In Capul Meu, M-AS ABTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  E un proces selectiv, draga.

Pa.

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