Azra's little corner: No button can make it sweeter

A potion was needed

But it wasn't that one.

Compounding gathered data, I'm sorry but I don't regret. This doesn't mean I would do it again. I feel just the same for the 'good things'. I feel my message was always clear, on layers. I don't think the reality I experience now is punishment for my actions in the past.

Dunno who put shit in my head. Awake or asleep.

The process

The finality :)

Scavenging through unrefined memories to find missing links

If there's even such a thing

No means no

And I gave mine away so many times

It wasn't even needed.

I don't know what to do with this strength.

Copulate, multiply, nature screams. In - Out. Value, ugly.

Flavors... No...

It would've made sense. But it's not enough for a true embrace.

I look and I wonder

With awe I ponder

I find a tablet with etchings

THERE IS NO SUCH THING!

Who told you that? Dunno.

If it's not like that, how is it?

~~Dunno.~~

What do you wish for?

~~Dunno.~~

Operating intricate devices to access flowering realities, however they might be called... Alternate, parallel, virtual, w/e... Operating takes place (words not too literal here) from a standpoint. How is that reality & why? The ONE version that is correct. Why is that correct and not others? Without knowing that, I don't want to proceed. Funny how so many things mean just the same thing. I looked everywhere, no matter how unpleasant or unlikely(tobetrue). What did I find? Nothing concludent.

Time doesn't make me more desperate. Maxed a long time ago... No amount of desperation could account for compassionate understandment towards some weird things. The reasons for that weirdness though... I do not see them clearly, but I sense something funny about it, something that would delight my mind. Wondering what sort of knowledge that is.

I looked at shit from the past, trying to see it with different types of eyes, to understand wtf happened why did it happen the way it did, meanings, did I not see something essential? Hilarious, stupid, powerful, it didn't matter... My own interpretation of whatever chessboard might be... I didn't find myself... Nor disposable others. Nothing... No match for ???

Preferences don't mean anything when they don't matter at all in the greater scheme of things (personal).

/ / / / / / / //////////////////////////////// / / / / / / /

So what to do with... {--------}... That apparently is like an interface, which changes based on... ( ? something to do with time & wrong attributed will/power). Sneaky sneaky but means notmuchy. Whatever dared pester me... All this time... For a message that wasn't accepted _ _ _ _ (when?)... When it was already clear.

Wrote this because I woke up grumpy after yet another dream with my ex that I don't like to dream of & YEARS AGO, while I was with him I didn't dream him too often(for introspection, relationship shit, w/e). X(

Yeah I feel someone is playing tricks on me & I don't know how to defend myself. I feel I make my point of view clear, not to impose, to be known.

Macar daca era altcineva in loc de ala, poate m-as fi simtit mai bine, sau altfel. :)))))

Da, dar, daca era altcineva poate te-ai fi purtat altfel in vis. Ce te face sa crezi ca te-ai purtat asa pentru ca erai cu ala si nu cu altcineva? Oricum nu era ceva familiar dupa dorintele tale, alegeri... Nici o reprezentare prea fericita a vreunor chemari ancestrale.

Macar mi-a placut cum stiam sa imi repar ceasul, cum il stergeam de apa, peisajele montane, zapada, crocodilul...* Ce conteaza restul? :)) Cum adica? Ceva a intrat la mine in vis si eu nu vad unde am probleme de securitate ca sa iau masuri... Ce fel de masuri? Nu stiu, macar sa stiu care e problema. Ma simt luata la misto si umilita (tentativa proasta de brainwash?) cand vad cum se incearca o asamblare a simbolurilor pentru derutarea perceptiilor... Undeva unde un mecanism poate fi folosit altfel. Repet, nu m-am dat niciodata nimanui asa incat sa sufar astfel de consecinte. Figurativ vbind, cautarile unor locuri nu inseamna vieti traite pe meleagurile alea care sa atarne la karma.

Penibil.

</3

Nu inseamna ca....

... Ba din contra.

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*I don't remember more from that dream now, is it even good for anything to write about details from dreams. I never realy liked my dreams~. Using what I remember from them as insight to understand better some stuff in RL, so-so. I like it when I have dreams in which interacting with 'reality' is a little different than it is when awake, but, again, is that even good for anything?
Entertainment? Understanding? Defining? Finding? Remembering? Attributing? Passions?