Ma mut

Weird days 4 me, multiple reasons. I'm in the process of moving out, I will be staying in Sector 2 again (yay?), so content will be sparse for a few days, thank you for understanding, as if there is even such thing, ha. I didn't even wanna make this post but hey! (???) 

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From my notes: 11.11.20 ~ Writing from 'the new place' which is oddly old and filled with keywordsy things that... Let's say I don't like. 

Line? What about all of them?Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ln 451 Col 70.

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A few pics:

linii...

more upset than I look like.

o bisericuta care imi place.

kitchen window view

different feel.

Dead End is TREND ~ All thx to...Me.

(Nu, nu fac aluzii, decat ce trebuie, intelegeti voi. Am primit aeste flyere in zona Universitate, azi).

Full of ♥

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Did I mention that I really don't like masturbating? I've been bothered a lot these days about it on the 'psychic telephone' ~ Dezacorduri, draga, nu sunt de acord, si nu e vina nimanui (blablablaaaa aaaaa sissstemului) ca racordajele sunt facute asa prost. 

Nu, nu imi place sa ma masturbez,

Nu, nu progresam, ba din contra.

Nu, nu, nu.

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Daca vedeam solutie as fi vorbit despre asta, dar INCA masculii din CEU MEU se cred ratati. Ca asa li se da in cap ... Am mai zis o data, No Alpha, No Beta(s) [And No AlphaBetaaayyy - misused Language-s n components]. All Alphas I sniffed ( I reached the top cause I'm who I am) are FAKE AF.  So... Ce sa mai spun? 

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Chit ca o fac, chit ca nu,  nu se intmpla nimic deci, DE CE sa o fac??? Nici macar nu imi face placere, si daca mi-ar face placere, stiind cati retardati penibili "vad" In Capul Meu, M-AS ABTINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  E un proces selectiv, draga.

Pa.

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invers

Fuck off! !!! Da,nu,nu,da. Orice as spune e in vain. Justificarea _ _ _ _ ? WTF. Până unde? De aici, de acolo... Cuvinte... Articole... "Dezbracat de straiele lumesti" ~ Heard ppl. talk this word "Clothings" ~ with a diff meaning that what I see. [Control V, or Ctrl + V ]. Ce inseamna fata in fata pentru unii? Horizontal rain? *Sigh* "How do you get your notifications?". Message to deliver? What... Manifesting? I saw an impression of a thing that looked like a body) as book. (why faces? Faces. !WTF! Not ON... I'm very upset. *Burp* Dubiosenii si neintelegeri. Nu... Fete vechi, fete noi... Cuvinte sensuri nonsensuri. Am fost la Biserica pt Spovedanie si am stat si la slujba. 

08.11

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Ce este distractiv in ziua de azi? {Prea multi}

li te re 

A fost foarte ciudata experienta de azi de la Biserica. 

Wink

ayyy 

ayy ayyy ayyy aaa durum dum du rum dum du rum dum du dooooooom.

Pe lacul Tineretului, seara.

Visor visier what?

..

?

Post

They're trying to put somebody else's dreams into MY head. I'm totally not into that. I disapprove. But I can't stop, cause apparently what happens in my own head is not my choice. No, I do not want to fuck my ex, for no reason, WTF, after so much time and struggle, you come up with THIS? And the 'thoughts' I've heard in regards to this, so disrespectful to so many different things! To prove what? Insane. I really want to take a break, away from everything. Sick and tired of all the nonsenses that I CAN'T STOP HEARING. I ll move out and I really need some days 'off' to figure out everything trying to find a way to DELETE idiots from my head ~ You can't call my Mercy all the time and give Pain if no answer. Nobody ever had REAL mercy for me. But then again, I always found my way. However, as of late, past day and a half or so, despite the fact that YES I DID IT AGAIN even IF I DREADED TO I DID NOT WANT TO ETC... No.... All... Wrong... As I've been saying... I haven't really learned anything... I feel raped pretty much 24/7 at this point. Raped is an ugly word, but that's how I feel. Used all my life, for 'their links'... Well, I can't see life like this, honestly, sorry! Because it's not! I am not a car and I do not want to become one. Or teach others about better this vs better that. I want to die.

New post

new post

another session

(earlier a bit) I was broadcasting live on ImLive, Twitch and Perisope

Chatted a bit

Had 2 orgasms.

:(

QQ

Quickie

 

1. I'm sad.
   The coincidences are no coincidences after all.
   The sweetness of some breezy moments quickly fades away when I get that weird pain 'as if I'm not doing ugfctdrtCUTCURCfyr as I should' and on and on and on and on.
   To...
   Where?
2. I'm at the same weight I was in 2008 (72kg), I look better than I did in 2011 when I was slimmer (61,64) and I don't know how to feel about this... Weigth, mass, the humm, the words, oh, the pain, borg voices telling me about systemic optimization research for 'Future' ~ What? I wore that F shit, when I was little.
3. I tweeted rampant {borrowed word - pls clear formatting} style again, sad and felt experimented on again today. ,,,,,,,,,, Why does it matter? When shit like this can happen: 

Pic taken yesterday, 29.10.2020. 

CANNED FOOD? WHAT IS FOOD? FOR ME? Fuel !== Food prints True. :-< Not allowed to be cute.

...For you... An address bar... But for me... I used to call it a place, before I was afraid of words, afraid is not correct in context.. A service? no. A thing? not really. Something, yeah, I guess. Provider? no. My go to for , yea. Why this, why that? Life is not a marketplace. No. Pictures memories, I have both. Google Photos only stores my photos, no? Why I use that and not X other ? I like Flickr too, and others, but each shines at something else. And much changed as time passed. There's nothing like how I liked Flickr in 2006++ though. I got used to using Google Photos since I'm an Android user and It comes with it, no? Why is it bad? Why would anyone make anything bad out of this? ?????? Words mispelling whispered in the clouds... Why worry, why worry... The convenience... I still remember the times when moving pictures from one interface to another was different, and I had my own purges, and, I didn't worry, to find that 'used against me'? What.The.Fuck. Somebody really uses words improperly. And I don't know what to do. Masturbating with keywords doesn't seem to lead anywhere I don't appreciate your time and effort you're probably just as clueless as I am when it comes to certain things. They shouldn't be able to hear us. 

Bye 4 now...

Soon I'll move out, maybe I'll give you more details, but for now, I just wish I could rest properly for a FEW days (2-3, not a MONTH ffs) to plan accordingly, feel better, stuff like that. No masturbation, no weirdness, no inquiries on the tele-phone, just me and whtever I choose to focus on.

Whatever title ~

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Something like that

Every time I go out it just gets crazier and crazier ( dream - reality - illusion in the marketplace ? )

~ I can't live my life like it's nothing more than 'the keyword game' ~

Cand mancam litere nu facem mai mult spatiu :(

Eeee.

It's not that I can't keep up, but I don't want to live like this, cause there's no way, labyrinth, but, no, way.

Again I've seen proof for how AI is not that intelligent. I did not count the pain. Amazement? Fear? No. I didn't mind some sequences of playfulness but... It's just not right. And I don't want to learn the hows and whys of this mass confusion. 

Not getting a real break from masturbating / orgasming (with no real purpose sir) makes me feel .. I can't find the right word. It doesn't matter. No one seems to listen or care anyway. 

Intricacy. 

She will never be me.

De azi, cu comentarii pe alocuri: https://photos.app.goo.gl/yZZKWGvwakrjbC2u5

Am discutat deja despre asta! ;)

Random: Why Oak? Dunno (one of my fav trees) ~ 

Snap 1

 (Thanks for the cuteness but then again message won't be delivered cause it's from me :()

and

snap 2

~ In oglinda ~ 

Now how does THAT 'help_make_space'? Imi constientizez carnea mai mult sau iar sau cum sau ce relevanta are? Cuvinte... 'Eyes to see' ~ And then what?

So long!

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Later edit: It's 12.18 AM