Cacat nou.

 Nu mi-a placut. [</3]

1. https://youtu.be/3DrMjc6hB3I

2. https://youtu.be/-I1gsjTQR5g

Degeaba.

I adore this game. 

Lovely pattern ~ 

Happy Birthday! 

~

Measurements: 95 - 69 - 99

65 kg

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Today's card: 4 of Swords

Today's rune: Sowilo (Sun)

~

~

~

Beatles -

Because

Aaaaaaah-aaah

Because the world is round

It turns me on

Because the world is round

Aaaaaaah-aaah

Because the wind is high

It blows my mind

Because the wind is high

Aaaaaaah-ah

Love is old, love is new

Love is all, love is you

Because the sky is blue

It makes me cry

Because the sky is blue

Aah-a-a-a-ah-aah-a-ah-a-a-aah

Aah-a-a-a-a-a-ah-ah-ah-ah-aah

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-a-a-aah

Aah-a-a-a-ah-aaaaah

kkt

An orgasm https://youtu.be/Creibovg1xg premiere 15:00 EET (1pm GMT), tomorrow, 27 March 2021 (3/27/2021) 

~

~

♥

Some pics

 I remembered about this today:

Made me giggle not really knowing what the fuck threw it in my way.

Fondness and gratefulness about many things.

Some pics:

 

:)

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/ishkira-wind/episodes/Citesc-iar-din---Interferente-in-lumea-calculatoarelor---continuare-et5o09

Da, fiecare zi pentru mine e in continuare un cosmar si nu am nimic bun de facut. Sa cotizezi pentru o iluzie sau alta (impletire de ~ cu minciuni) nu e ceva bun si acest tip de gand e f condamnabiL de catre cei care sunt programati prin scrisul altora sa FACA lucrurile BINE. Acei altii insa, identitatea lor reala, absent cu desavarsire.

Vreau sa scriu din ce in ce mai rar aici.

Nu conteaza de ce. Considerand ca nici macar nu am vrut sa am acest blog si ne aflam cateva zeci (mai mult de 200 in aproximativ un an) de articole mai departe... Sincer acum, e penibil, sa astepte oricine de la mine sa public aici cu regularitate sau sa fac orice doar ca sa apara ceva fara nici un sens scop real dorinta autentica, etc. Nu, nu scriu din dorinta autentica. Da, consider irelevant. Nu ma intereseaza opiniile celor care nu conteaza (pentru mine, nu inseamna ca nu contezi daca nu cotizezi, ci daca nu ma intereseaza persoana ta. Imi esti inferior si totusi viata mea depinde de tine - M-am saturat de cacatul asta). 

Azi o sa scriu diverse chestii random din jurmalele mele

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I'll never love you. I'll never show you how. You raped every corner of my mind which was meant to be treated like smth precious to grow & bloom & shine & all attributes u stolen from me & scattered them in lies 2 make money.

I don't have the freedom to try to learn to see this it's been too long under different light. Same shits pester me, no real help for what it could be like. 

Am avut ganduri ciudate inainte sa adorm, gen: ...Te-as lasa pana si sa te caci pe fata mea. Ar merita =) [Te-as lasa sa imi faci orice pret de 10 minute ca apoi, 10 minute sa imi explici ce inseamna pentru tine 10 minute - haha timp de, pret de.]

I got time... Aaaand fools trained 2 misuse what they got (not time), beautiful machines -> purely mental no fake woman involved. [...] I swear I'd make an effort 2 keep up if I would've seen 1 tiny sign of REAL somethingthatdoesntlead2adeadend.

Stiu. Zolology = death.

I won't "work" today. I'm a lab rat 24/7 (365) which means _ ALL the time. Not 1/3 of time/day (the normal 8h work schedule for humans as I've been taught) Stop interpreting me. 

Exploring nothingness...(lines & shapes above are imaginary)

Dream machine
Mind of mine
Waves of mirage
Waves of air
Gliding through

Sparkling seeds of light.

Yes, it was traumatic, this and that, but a part of me wasn't affected even as all trauma happened.

I DO NOT wish to participate in this masquerade any further... I have no choice... With every breath... I feel... You use me. Against my will... To keep the broken mechanism going... I DO NOT CONSENT.

Ma simt ciudat ~ tot felul de idei. Dar parca nimic nu are rost. Romanescul IDEI rimeaza doar cu Englezescul DELAY (?) Nu cu viata sau cel putin ce cred eu ca inseamna sa traiesti.

articol nou din nou

 https://anchor.fm/ishkira-wind/episodes/podcast-et1bbk -> Podcast

Communications

18.03. I did recording last night. Show and recording I uploaded online. I was also livestreaming [https://youtu.be/9LPKFZAgcTg], talking, saying why I won’t do it anymore. How I need a break and I’ve been talking for months about needing a break not getting one friendly encouragement but always being pushed to just masturbate and have more orgasms.

I do not wish to follow anymore ‘trends’ ~ Ce da bine la (cu) algoritmi. Nu stiu inca de ce, am simtit mereu ca e ceva gresit, si totusi, am incercat ‘varianta mea’. Doar ca sa gasesc kkt si insulte in mare parte.

I really liked that, am ascultat de pe canalul tipilor de la Weaving Spiders. Dar prea multe lucruri “Inca nu vor a fi intelese” ~ what I’ve been writing for a very long time already. Sincronicitatea de pe timeline – nu am luat-o ca pe o insulta. Dar pentru mine inseamna 1 singura chestie cand vad treaba aia. E un semn clar ca ‘mi se cere’ sa mai fac iar ‘show’, si sa respect procedura(various keywords,masturbare,orgasm). Nu vreau sa jignesc That Woman, dar e prea mult timp de cand facem chestiile asa, fara nici un rezultat, nu sunt de acord, e ceva gresit. Nu e comunicare autentica, nu e ceva ce vreau sa urmez. Ma doare foarte rau nu mai suport. Nu am primit deloc support real pana acum si daca mi se cere orice gen: sa fac show sa am orgasm etc, ala nu e support deja am aratat tot si prin simpla comunicare deschisa se poate vedea ce e nevoie; sunt cei care stiu deja tot despre ce e vba si nu vorbesc/nu fac nimic For Good.

De cand ‘urmez’ ~ nu mi-a placut nimic, nu am invatat nimic (exclusive prin natura lucrurilor facute) doar Opusul. Si nu mai vreau sa particip nu voi fi niciodata de acord sa ‘fac ceva’ cu cineva care ARE NEVOIE de asta de la mine pentru ca e trauma indoctrinare minciuni nimic bun, alegerea constienta sa fi mintit. Enlightenment e altceva nu sa afli cat de sclav esti.

“Astia” ma tortureaza in fiecare zi la toate nivelele si nu se intampla nimic altceva ~ Nu mai vreau sa continui, nu da vina pe mine, te rog.

La fiecare nivel as putea face ceva BUN dar nu sunt lasata. NU mai vreau sa incerc atata timp cat tot ce vad e aceeasi chestie. That Woman vorbeste de ani de zile despre chestiile astea, altfel, si nu, nu e un prototip de femeie. I always liked her stuff, respect, I started re-following on social media ‘because’ smth in the Twitch guy story, some song lyrics (Find the lady of the light gone mad with the night / That's how you reshape destiny) and a Twitter synchronicity* https://twitter.com/artofliamalxndr/status/1087448537451978757, lol (VERY WRONG [wrong interpretation/s]!) si tot ce s-a intamplat de atunci = for me, ALL BAD. NOT EVEN Know Thyself pe bune, doar crumbs (cu lingurita) niciodata cat sa fac eu calculele mele bune si nu e vba de incredere aici nu sunt lasata/nu sunt lasati (?) Si totusi, nu ar exista fara mine infiderent de cat timp se investeste/iroseste. Ma doare f rau si nimeni nu e dispus sa discute cu adevarat.

Daca nu am orgasme (4 me, ANY & ALL reasons = BAD at this point)

Insulte si atacuri peste tot, de parca ar trebui sa ma simt ‘in danger’ pentru ceva.

Ca si cum nu as exista. DE CEEEEEE? E atat de rau si nesanatos pe toate planurile fizic psihologic tot. R Guy, there is no R way (to continue this shit), ur a Tool and actively contributing to my pain (=bad).

Bliss = smth else nu gasesti pe net de vanzare de la nimeni :)

</3

*

[And now to see your love set free
You will need the witch's cabin key…]

~ "The Poet And The Muse" lyrics Old Gods Of Asgard"
(from "Alan Wake" soundtrack)

~

I am sorry, but I didn’t like that song at first listen or further (He even told me it’s one of his favorite songs) ~ And not because I’m Laura and I don’t know how to feel Energy (That’s a very nasty insult, btw, psychic telephone should be used for something else, I’m blindfolded – don’t know Your version, I just know it’s Wrong).

I TRIED TO like the song and even told my ex I like it. I liked THE IDEA of the song, the fact that Guy I fell for sent me the link, yea yea. Boys and music, boys and games, my real opinion never seems to matter when it’s against the… What?

I do not want/like that guy anymore, been a while already, TRUTH STAYS HIDDEN (!!! = V. BAD!) and I am not willing to (not even) TRY to interact/do anything with any of ‘his’ future versions. I want to do something else. ~ La un moment dat (creepy to remember) I-am auzit vocea foarte aproape, in camera mea, a fost singura experienta de acest tip pe care am avut-o "You're Perfect." ~ Thinking back, made me feel as if There's something wrong with me, wtf, why would I hear that? Nu mi-a placut, nu am stiut ce sa cred despre, thought he's psychic &/or has magical powers - LOL. Nu stiu sigur ce experimente s-au intamplat cu acel baiat/chat/eu, his streams, who how & why attempted to communicate with me through him(?), ideea e ca sunt sigura ca nu vreau sa mai am de-a face cu NIMENI care s-a jucat asa cu mine :) Weird harvest of signals, if something.


Witches cabin key – also made me think of Garsoniera din sector 2, in 2019, cand am fost in vizita, habar nu aveam ca urma sa stau acolo. Am crezut ca se va intampla ceva. Tot ce am gasit a fost pierdere de timp.

Kate Bush ~ Horatiu (Un tip pe care l-am cunoscut in Club A cand aveam vreo 19 ani) mi-a spus ca seman cu ea / valenta / vibratie artistica. I didn’t really understand or agree. I remember Wuthering Heights from that time. I like MANY of Kate’s songs, some favs being Jig of Life, Lily, Song of Solomon (ce mi-a placut la acest cantec nu e un Cont prin sau cu care sa poata fi efectuate tranzactii de nici un fel!!!). “Hello Earth” ~ guy I really liked (for whatever reason – I forgot!) gave me that song si nu am inteles atunci sau vazut vreo legatura intre noi / povestile noastre, cand am ramas gravida in 2012, ecografia transvaginala, poza, fetusul din Meridian, hidden clues din care eu ma straduiam sa inteleg CE SE INTAMPLA ~ blocata la nivel de minciuna. In prezent simt ca sunt unii care incearca sa se foloseasca de anumite detalii din povestea aia si nu ar trebui sa fie involved si nu stiu ce inseamna asta dar R guy nu are ce cauta in poveste. Neajutoratii tinuti sclavi. Minciuni in ‘high places’.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I feel used for my possible song lyrics interpretation(s) at thought level and this is pollution.

Go to sleep

Go to sleep

Little Earth.

♥

Daca imi spui ca nu ai voie sa vorbesti cu mine

Poate ca nu ar trebui sa imi pese, sau sa astept sa te ascult…

L’interdit ~

Manipulata de mult prea mult timp.

Nu pot sa traiesc fara sa visez la ceva sau sa ma implic sa fac ceva si nu are de-a face cu verdele care e otravitor nu mai vreau sa fiu in groapa comunala unde totul este manipulate si folosit aiurea.

~

Poze:

Beautiful clouds

?

LOL - cand am vazut reclama asta cu Antonia (Reclama pentru Teilor), I thought she looks like she's about to put a collar/gag/muzzle on the 'viewer' ~ !WTF! More than subliminal shit.

Mijloace de transport in comun si ani. 

!

Skull Cat Litter Art!

Thank you for this, Little Ones or whoever responsible :)

💋

~~~ 

A song I really liked, I remember listening to Wild Is The Wind cand tot mergeam cu metroul...

For we're like creatures of the wind
And wild is the wind, wild is the wind

~