21 Mar 2021

:)

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/ishkira-wind/episodes/Citesc-iar-din---Interferente-in-lumea-calculatoarelor---continuare-et5o09


Da, fiecare zi pentru mine e in continuare un cosmar si nu am nimic bun de facut. Sa cotizezi pentru o iluzie sau alta (impletire de ~ cu minciuni) nu e ceva bun si acest tip de gand e f condamnabiL de catre cei care sunt programati prin scrisul altora sa FACA lucrurile BINE. Acei altii insa, identitatea lor reala, absent cu desavarsire.

Vreau sa scriu din ce in ce mai rar aici.

Nu conteaza de ce. Considerand ca nici macar nu am vrut sa am acest blog si ne aflam cateva zeci (mai mult de 200 in aproximativ un an) de articole mai departe... Sincer acum, e penibil, sa astepte oricine de la mine sa public aici cu regularitate sau sa fac orice doar ca sa apara ceva fara nici un sens scop real dorinta autentica, etc. Nu, nu scriu din dorinta autentica. Da, consider irelevant. Nu ma intereseaza opiniile celor care nu conteaza (pentru mine, nu inseamna ca nu contezi daca nu cotizezi, ci daca nu ma intereseaza persoana ta. Imi esti inferior si totusi viata mea depinde de tine - M-am saturat de cacatul asta). 

Azi o sa scriu diverse chestii random din jurmalele mele



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I'll never love you. I'll never show you how. You raped every corner of my mind which was meant to be treated like smth precious to grow & bloom & shine & all attributes u stolen from me & scattered them in lies 2 make money.


I don't have the freedom to try to learn to see this it's been too long under different light. Same shits pester me, no real help for what it could be like. 


Am avut ganduri ciudate inainte sa adorm, gen: ...Te-as lasa pana si sa te caci pe fata mea. Ar merita =) [Te-as lasa sa imi faci orice pret de 10 minute ca apoi, 10 minute sa imi explici ce inseamna pentru tine 10 minute - haha timp de, pret de.]


I got time... Aaaand fools trained 2 misuse what they got (not time), beautiful machines -> purely mental no fake woman involved. [...] I swear I'd make an effort 2 keep up if I would've seen 1 tiny sign of REAL somethingthatdoesntlead2adeadend.


Stiu. Zolology = death.


I won't "work" today. I'm a lab rat 24/7 (365) which means _ ALL the time. Not 1/3 of time/day (the normal 8h work schedule for humans as I've been taught) Stop interpreting me. 


Exploring nothingness...(lines & shapes above are imaginary)

Dream machine
Mind of mine
Waves of mirage
Waves of air
Gliding through
Sparkling seeds of light.



Yes, it was traumatic, this and that, but a part of me wasn't affected even as all trauma happened.



I DO NOT wish to participate in this masquerade any further... I have no choice... With every breath... I feel... You use me. Against my will... To keep the broken mechanism going... I DO NOT CONSENT.



Ma simt ciudat ~ tot felul de idei. Dar parca nimic nu are rost. Romanescul IDEI rimeaza doar cu Englezescul DELAY (?) Nu cu viata sau cel putin ce cred eu ca inseamna sa traiesti.






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