Hello!
What day? ...6 (circled) .
Doesn't matter anyway.
4 Years I haven't wirtten a full page, yet almost 2 full journals now (rect-tangled) . Degeaba. EVerything (underlined) I do is in vain. A Lie / Feeds the lie & nothing more ( talking in Lienguage).
Too much pain. No progress. Only blindness / humiliation. The blind programmed 2 kill. Not smart, not smart at all. I really don't want to go on.
Started playing World of Warcraft in 2009. Servers I played on: Hellfire, Mazrigos, Executus, Argent Dawn. Most of my chars are on Mazri atm.
•••
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From all the things that I could tell you but I didn't, you heard my thoughts we always seem to forget more or less according to our will but others use us indefinitely. I don't know what to do or what my real audience is I want to be a hermit, really, I have many things to leave behind and I am not allowed I am forced to live in the past as if I abandon certain people if I move on. My memories...Kept alive...By people...But those people have so deeply ingrained within themselves that they will somehow Die if I ''move on''. But they could be so much more than the Orgasm they felt 4 being, just like me :(
I felt their concern so many times and also interrupted communication when it gets too 'obvious' that we can communicate outside of norms but ...Like I said...abt the gvmt/police ... It's a waste of good suffering (Hellraiser movie) ~ If you can hear the signal that makes that so real within you, you can't even hear your own thoughts...But you hear mine... You are programmed to tick tick tick me away... Because you tick tick tick away ... And you can't see past that, by design, in a way...
SEPULTURA - Phantom Self (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
What happened to me?
Felt like I had everything
Such a big catastrophe, but I had to deal with the struggle
It all began passing life so easily
Ready for almost anything, but it took a different direction
Then, one night, sharp turns
A light came from nowhere
Blown away
Never felt my injuries
Bleeding deep inside of me
Just knew I had to help all those people
Lost
My mind
It's gone
That life
Lost
I've been looking for myself
It haunts me everyday
I'm searching for a truth no longer there
Transformed I'm someone else
Must face my phantom self
Transformed I'm someone else
Must face my phantom self
It's a mystery
Changed my body's chemistry
Always creeping up on me
Wiped out my whole soul of existence
The crash
Flashbacks
Carnage
The blood keeps on flowing
Killing me
Trapped inside this tragedy
Can't see the road in front of me
Replay this nightmare over and over
Lost
I've been looking for myself
It haunts me everyday
I'm searching for a truth no longer there
Transformed I'm someone else
Must face my phantom self
Transformed I'm someone else
I'll face my phantom self
Lost
I've been looking for myself
It haunts me everyday
I'm searching for a truth no longer there
Transformed I'm someone else
Must face my phantom self
Transformed I'm someone else
I'll face my phantom self
•
Good luck! ♥
I already faced my ' Phantom self ', found out I have no real choice afterwards (and during, / or before).
Put it this way: }On the shelf to be left behind.{ My Phantom self - All they ever wanted me to be/do [Insert_trauma_based_mind_control_output_here], that I didn't come close to, as close as <I needed to>, but they still wrote the story as if I did. Makes no sense? I agree. Makes no sense to me 2.
Why do you think that I'm so upset? :( (All possible answers may contain Truths but are severely Incomplete due to LinguistEEx
~ ) ~ 0 ~ ( ~
P.S.: Greetings, Taskbar, you dear fella have been quite talkative Lately, thanks for following/ however this sort of interaction is called in your Understandment. :*
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