10 Jul 2020

Stuff.



Framboise.




Is it really a video? But...It's my life! How can I learn & really grow past my programming? Circuits-trends? (Someone suggested singular, circuit as valid here, hmm, thanks.)

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As soon as I DO something 
[applies to having thoughts as well ~ Quantumically 
}Aquatically{  annoying], 
a Taskbar somewhere in the world HAS to DO something Else. (Riddl~ish way to say, not mot-a-mot as I heard it, it's painful and yes humiliating too.)

⋆Dream fragments. Brainwash everywhere. Painful. 
*Tall, well built, dark skin/hair & lots of it. Kept trying to seduce me as he drove me home(?) . He was acting so sure I'm gonna be "his", lol. I knew in a way I was dreaming. Told him (he asked, I think) I didn't fuck in ~ 1 year. He said he didn't do it in ~ 3 months, but acted as if his 3 months were much longer time period than my 1 year. WTF? I wasn't going to fuck him anyway. But "Mom" who wasn't mom at all / demonic / & I had an "interference" & that resulted in sleep paralysis yet again. Different type of sleep paralysis, because until I woke up this time, I didn't realize I'm having a sleep paralysis experience. "Mom" emitted signal as if she wanted to seduce the guy & mate with him right there; even if I wasn't sexually interested in him, this energy still bothered me for unknown reasons ~ guess it has to do with my natural aversion to Evil. Old apartment from S2. Horrorish visuals, but weird demonic energy. I told that thing ("Mom") that: I see/feel all (nu imi scapa nimic) & I had an imperative attitude, smth that I really can't put in words cause there are none matching the energy I had. That thing became uglier and uglier. Stained skin. Deformed body. 
All this after I "caught" the guy that he's a wizard/warlock (No~).
Naughty. A long (over 1 meter) white strand of hair was grown from his left eye (???)

05. What is this noise? [Efort] (?)

I'm still but it tires me. "They come" to power it up ~ Illusion. What's REALLY happening? Nothing that matters. this =matter= lies. :( So what are we being used for, again?  Food? They eat - we poop - cum vine asta? I can't be myself in these circumstantial tangles. Bad news, boys: Our current Mother Nature is not even a She - It's a He! Aaaaa. I could look deeper, but it hurts too much to see layers of the lie.


07.07.20 

"Grounded"


& the multiple meanings.

• impamantenit / impamantat
• well balanced (Zummm)
• Prohibited from flying
• Pedepsit ~ Punished (locked in a room)

Used against us.

Blue triangle.
Red square (black outline)

I'm not allowed to see. In/vers.

Illusion / Scales. 

Girl figure [statue? .:Yes:.] is taller than most buildings but the little diode-looking thingy on the 2D street is  about 1cm.
What about the stitching?
Or WiFi sign? Not sure.
Weird dreams we're having!

"Money"
~
lies.

Glass Diodes - Contact 

! I've had a vision of myself(or part of me) like one of those things but without anything visible at the ends ~ untethered.  


08.07. * All they do to me/us is force us keep egregores alive / feed them. Selling us fake "shit" about our very selves that we "buy" with our  9 12 3 6 Time  T T T T T. Honestly, I don't think my pencil(s) ever got upset on me for not writing with them for x amount of time, like... Ever... So why the sequencial BS? Back to *

I don't want to continue for one more day like this... In this. Every "action" hurts sooner / later, no real karma. 



~

I can't... More YEARS like this? No! Every sound hurts. I don't want to be here. We're not helping eachother... (nothing to do with me)... Only "progressing" towards opposite of what we really seek. Masturbate again? Come again? Lie again? Lose another day? I want to shutdown ALL my senses. Not be here / heard. Everyth I did all this life has been in vain. Only used for / by evil, to trick deceive use others. Every time I agree with a connection: That's her voice. She's That person. We have had That past together -> feeds the lie. 

I can't bear to hear / see the signals with the keywords anymore.

No love here, we're only being USED. And if you can't see? Your problem - your lesson - WHy do I & others have to suffer so much because of this? My reality is continuously made up by blind Fools.

I'm supposed to make new memories not continuously regurgitate the old ones. 

Thanks for following 




Bye!






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