Faptul ca exista o posibilitate ca maine sa aud altfel muzica asta (deja am facut-o - sunt doar niste note muzicale, sunete, care suna intr-un fel) imi face ziua de azi atat de singura.
28 Oct 2020
Faptul ca
26 Oct 2020
A weird day.
I don't wanna be scary, In a https://youtu.be/F3J0iwwsq-w.
No one cares, nobody knows.
I don't want to be buried in a pet sematary
24 Oct 2020
Silly Sad but True... Movie Review.
A very rare occurrence on my blog.
Short and !Ironic! review for the movie Bird Box.
IMDB link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2737304
Trailer:
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
2018 My Ass.
Just seen some of this movie. [I couldn't bear watching it all KaChing]
Knows what I did today, knows what I didn't do today and attempts to suggest me what to do.
No thankyou.
Even gave a few masturbation keywords recommendations. Ha!
~Angles vs Angels ~ Is it all about 'where you put the 'e' '? I don't think so. [Thought not found] {I know}
I really know though ^^
I like Sandra's face in other movies better, she's always been kind of annoying tho. (No offense :D)
Kudos to the special effects team 4 this Movie, though. Iespecially liked the nails and the eyes in some scenes.
Story wise and interpretation, sub par and meh. {It was not meant to make sense anyway, anyway}.
~~~
Metallica Lyrics
"Sad But True"
Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who takes you there
Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who cares
They (they)
They betray
I'm your only true friend now
They (they)
They'll betray
I'm forever there
I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true
I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
You know it's sad but true
Sad but true
You (you)
You're my mask
You're my cover, my shelter
You (you)
You're my mask
You're the one who's blamed
Do (do)
Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do (do)
Do my deeds
For you're the one who's shamed
I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true
I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
You know it's sad but true
Sad but true
I'm your dream
I'm your eyes
I'm your pain
I'm your dream (I'm your dream)
I'm your eyes (I'm your eyes)
I'm your pain (I'm your pain)
You know it's sad but true
Hate (hate)
I'm your hate
I'm your hate when you want love
Pay (pay)
Pay the price
Pay, for nothing's fair
Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who took you there
Hey (hey)
I'm your life
And I no longer care
I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true
I'm your truth, telling lies
I'm your reason, alibis
I'm inside, open your eyes
I'm you
Sad but true
23 Oct 2020
..
Woke up today, hints: Muse New Day; New version, Made in Germany (?)
Sad.
Nothing new.
Around me, only lies.
Positive.
Despite the
reasons (which aren't even
real reasons) 4 noise
vary; result is
~
the same.
Same shit.
I'm not willing to participate in same thing with the same thing & to that over there who invoked "T"; know that ALL MY LIFE I wasn't allowed to be "in tune" ~ key moments (with)... Manipulated signals (output)... Against my will. Soul stuff. Not chemistry. ♥. Also. I don't want to talk to u we both so much better silent to eachother. Last winter was a dream. Blue Octopus sticker found on the ground in the playground nearby.
22 Oct 2020
Nutz
These idiots drove me nutz over the past few mths with their supposedly well put to plan plan.
Here's something from my past. Oh, the soundz.
21 Oct 2020
Car nightmare and other words
17.10.2020. 5.33 a.m.
Every time it rains
You're here in my heart ~
New Moon in Libra with Merc. Retrograde. Yes. Mercenary Retrograde. Oh, how I love some of your stories. But... Not even being allowed to touch? _____________________________
I was prompted with: Thank you for using Adobe Flash Player. If FP was a (even if artificial) "mind" , he would not need or want to thank me. We would just <touch> ~ Do things together. He seeing through my eyes. Being passive or saying something, @ his will, IN ACCORDANCE to my will ofc [I - the user]. So what does his family truly want and why so much unnecessary Screen Time? Time / space being Fake... There's no real danger "out there", FPleaser.
18.10.20 - somewhere in the pm -
Had the weirdest nightmare last night ~ A nightmare within the a nightmare. I was following a person (?) who said that they'll attend a play but I ran and got there before him, only to find [Ghosttown] no play -space- ~ An empty stage, no crowd. From the backstage, which seemed like a church altar[hint-The Now], a person looking like Valeriu Sterian appeared ~ he felt like an empty shell. I told him I liked his music a lot when I was younger - he laughed like a dead man. I told him - Your music always had 1 obvious message 2 me: "Freedom"* Doamne, vino doamne, sa vezi ce-a mai ramas din oameni ~ , and I gave him a commander salute with my left hand and I left. (Apparently military salute with left hand is a bit disrespectful, considering my right hand was perfectly usable; But Hey! I knew why without knowing why apparently). * Nothing to do with '89, RO, stuff, but how I ♥eard the music. As I was rushing {I felt BIG danger?} to my car; parked there; 2 "hot" chicks were parked there. I told them I know I forgot my car door open {This was smth punishable by Law in the dream} and I showed them: the keys were in the lock - my purse left @ the back of the car... Told them it was an emergency (?) blabla. The scary noise was getting closer and closer. They said nothing. I got in the car and it morphed - My bed {bedroom} was the inside of the car, with a little window top left as I layed down. The noise was pounding my ears. I was scared, scared to be found "with no cover on"... I woke up as from a sleep paralysis experience, the noise was also here, but dimmed; from construction site nearby. Similar sound patterns, but different feel. Weird dream. No coincidences. Felt very lonely, and misunderstood.
I was always right - they were wrong. All my life ----- planned to be abused by others; through others.
Reach - nothing AweThentic technic allowed to really reach me. Always missunderstandments & milking. Tales of love lost to the wind. I am deep undersea; Treasure lays burried; I wish I could rejoyce in what I hid there really means. I'm very sad; I'm also very happy - and apparently that sucks ♥
19.10
I didn't masturbate for ~ 3 days. However, this doesn't feel like a break because of all the prompts & feels down there. My inner female is tired to think about all these men and or parts she wouldn't do anything sexy with if she had the chance. My inner male is tired to think about all these women and or parts he wouldn't do anyth with if he had the chance. What about my _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ & related? Most important juices even for the hunters who still dare not admit so. I am profoundly sad; nothing in this retched pile of lies can match that.
20.10
Too much pain. Nose. Wet. Sniffing the lies, one after the other, in sequences that seem to repeat with nothing else in between. Nothing left to... I didn't learn anyth new, all this time, since I've been telling you, how we have no real choice. I don't know what to "do", 4 Every(any) Doing seems to support somehow somebody that I don't. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, no choice / no soulution. After all this _ :(
On dating: I'd rather go outside and literally clean a car with my tongue* than "go out" with smth that looks "like me" but it's just a human flesh suit looking car.💔* Nothing sexy or pleasurable about this; Today & recently -> Everything hostile or in disguise.
21.10
No progress - Lies, lis, lies, lies. Why do it (masturbate-orgasm) I despise it; has nothing 2do with real love (atm); Regardless if I do it or not, nothing changes; they ask me to do it again. I begged in all my voices - please tell them; I do not enjoy this. There are lies; especially abt. love & sex; me masturbating and getting orgasms doesnt lead anywhere good. What this does + What they do ( choose ) interferes with my "little choices" & me getting / having / working towards "having" a life. Ppl have been sending the correct signals for ages. Why waste (deliberately harm) ourselves like this? It hurts me so bad! I do not want to hurt myself! I have no choice ( 0 = Zero) - I'm stuck here ~ Somebody else's LIE, not mine! I never had a choice; A real one. They speak more lies through all the means; Pls STOP asking me to masturbate / orgasm; I NEED TO HEAL, NOT continue like this; I was always right but 2 what avail (?)