Faptul ca

 Faptul ca exista o posibilitate ca maine sa aud altfel muzica asta (deja am facut-o - sunt doar niste note muzicale, sunete, care suna intr-un fel) imi face ziua de azi atat de singura.

https://youtu.be/O7dTbZeg7GE I orgasmed when song Manhunter was playing on the prime thanatos youtube channel live stream ♥ Nice 'co incidence' There is no coincidence ofc but hey I really like this music there's a long time since I got this fascinated.

However, I did not like/enjoy (want, etc) what I was thinking about as I was masturbating while that music was playing. I'm trying not to me missunderstood. These numbers, those numbers, over over, WTF IS HAPPENING?

Cum adica daca public ceva aici - spatiu?

Eu inca nu stiu ce inseamna BLONDELE. SIngura explicatie pe care am primit-o = ceva legat de locomotive/mult steam. WTF? Ce sa inteleg din asta? Nu, nu am inteles. Blondele la care vrei sa ma gandesc 'sunt' femei (arata asa) deci... Prezente in toata realitatea mea combobulata, indiferent ca  aratau bine sau nu, mai.... Innebunesc... Jocul asta cu keyworduri... WTF. Real e real, virtual e virtual. Pe mine Virtualul m-a invatat despre coding &co < > . , .. h |

T

T

MEMORIES!

Ur Dreams, Girl, Ur Dreams.

(?)

Inca se mai joaca cu mine asa.

Sunt f suparata.

Si sunt satula de ce se intampla in ultima perioada.

I

need

a

break.

I'm

not

asking

ppl

to

throw

1000's

at me

But

.

.

Some 

decency?

No.

I'm not allowed to have a life.

Why?

Because I know how to love

Why, and all the menu.

,

Ce inseamna pentru tine

O virgula?

Dar 1 (un) Orgasm?

Dar urina?

Si ce-i cu atatea invocatii ciudate de organe in ultimul timp?

De ce conteaza de cate ori o fac la rand?

Inca nu am inteles.

 E cineva treaz?

Da.

Si stie ca eu visez.

=)

Eu tot nu stiu.

Serios.

Eu inca am impresia ca astia tot vor sa ma masturbez ca sa ne faca rau la rand. Nici un alt motiv. Avem ce treb. deja. REPet ~ I am a Hermit (pt mine conteaza viata, nu reputatia). Pt mine Viata nu da cu Minus. In orice situatie fac ceva bun daca sunt lasata in pace. Niciodata nu a contat ca gasesc aia pathwayul sa aud eu cuvantul/cuvintele care deranjeaza in cap. Nu ma intereseaza in ce script. I'm not the one that was wrong. (I would've admitted ~ I WAS CLUELESS - and that is not an excuse. Pointless to make hypothesis now. As long as the 'males' are Coordinated by those... Silly things. = BAD. Women are not like that! Up down Sides what? Not my fucking problem or responsibility, Ubermen. I don't want to be with U. I am in love. And it would be v unfair towards you to 'give u false hopes'. :( U can't be him. Energy is a word. Electricity, a concept. A dream, just like the rest of the things I dream about. You don't know. You're just as stuck as I am. Limited. Promised things, sucked from. "Created" for. How do I know? Cause I've been om many steps. up and down. And all I know now, is that most of the reality around me is a lie that simply wouldn't be, if The Dreamers had A (o) Choice.

Root causes

Root causes

Root causes

Nu prostii dinastea.

Care

sunt

puse

acolo

ca

sa

ne

tina

pe

toti

Prosti.

.

A weird day.

 

From Final Fantasy Record Keeper game ~ 

View from the kitchen window. Early Moon, 2 birds, si blocul de vis-a-vis. 

Sparkle while you sleep - Didn't wear this comfy thang in a logn while :)

BIG NOSE. Mine!

Scribblings trying to make some sense ↕

Attempts and experiments of my own (Yes)

I don't wanna be scary, In a https://youtu.be/F3J0iwwsq-w.

No one cares, nobody knows.

I don't want to be buried in a pet sematary

The state of yo0u . BWA!

26.10. Pain and nuisance. Stupid shyt on tellee. M-a trezit curierul (call on my phone :p) Ca ajunge repede, cu un colet pt mine, platit (???). La usa, mi-a dat un plic (gratuit) ~ Postage Paid formality u never mention. Avea un colet cu Amway in cealalta mana si mi-a stalcit numele [Berbecut in loc de Becut, little ram, one of the ways in which I was bullied in Primary School by some uninteresting boys] ~ I assumed it's again a keyword for masturbation, to think about a horned animal or so, but no. "C" (is it hard drive calling chemare ca la interfon? - I keep hearing ca e despre Hard Drive/Disk). Beeeeee. Pe plic scrie: Continut: Carton; Inauntru, plastic. Nu, nu e un repros pt nimeni. Si da, stiu sa tin secrete doar ca e foarte ciudat modul in care facem treburile astea. Pa.

Ma uit pe geam... Primul lucru care imi atrage atentia [bout of paranoia 4 using words here] Un "eco toilet" portocaliu pe o remorca trasa de o masina, trecand pe Bvd.

- I saw some figures earlier (eyes closed) that morphed into scary looking things... then morphed into fig pulp {Oh, my memory}... like a giant computer with dates (years, days, numbers). Seeds & decay. 

Bye 4 now.

Silly Sad but True... Movie Review.

 A very rare occurrence on my blog.

Short and !Ironic! review for the movie Bird Box.

IMDB link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2737304

Trailer:

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2018 My Ass.

Just seen some of this movie. [I couldn't bear watching it all KaChing]

Knows what I did today, knows what I didn't do today and attempts to suggest me what to do.

No thankyou.

Even gave a few masturbation keywords recommendations. Ha!

~Angles vs Angels ~ Is it all about 'where you put the 'e' '? I don't think so. [Thought not found] {I know}

I really know though ^^

I like Sandra's face in other movies better, she's always been kind of annoying tho. (No offense :D)

Kudos to the special effects team 4 this Movie, though. Iespecially liked the nails and the eyes in some scenes.

Story wise and interpretation, sub par and meh. {It was not meant to make sense anyway, anyway}.

~~~

💋

Metallica Lyrics


"Sad But True"


Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who takes you there
Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who cares
They (they)
They betray
I'm your only true friend now
They (they)
They'll betray
I'm forever there

I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true

I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
You know it's sad but true
Sad but true

You (you)
You're my mask
You're my cover, my shelter
You (you)
You're my mask
You're the one who's blamed
Do (do)
Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do (do)
Do my deeds
For you're the one who's shamed

I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true

I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
You know it's sad but true
Sad but true

I'm your dream
I'm your eyes
I'm your pain

I'm your dream (I'm your dream)
I'm your eyes (I'm your eyes)
I'm your pain (I'm your pain)
You know it's sad but true

Hate (hate)
I'm your hate
I'm your hate when you want love
Pay (pay)
Pay the price
Pay, for nothing's fair

Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who took you there
Hey (hey)
I'm your life
And I no longer care

I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true

I'm your truth, telling lies
I'm your reason, alibis
I'm inside, open your eyes
I'm you
 
Sad but true

...

"Do my deeds" - There's no space between the two ees.

..

 

Woke up today, hints: Muse New Day; New version, Made in Germany (?)

Sad. 

Nothing new. 

Around me, only lies. 

Positive. 

Despite the 

reasons (which aren't even 

real reasons) 4 noise 

vary; result is 

~

 the same. 

Same shit. 

I'm not willing to participate in same thing with the same thing & to that over there who invoked "T"; know that ALL MY LIFE I wasn't allowed to be "in tune" ~ key moments (with)... Manipulated signals (output)... Against my will. Soul stuff. Not chemistry. ♥. Also. I don't want to talk to u we both so much better silent to eachother. Last winter was a dream. Blue Octopus sticker found on the ground in the playground nearby.

Beautiful  art ~ Celestial Tarot deck 

?

It's always been this way ~ 

I'm not feeling good. But at the same time, I am...

No, it's not enough. But at the same time, it's not necessary.

~ Every day when it's (somehow) expected of me to masturbate and have orgasms is not a day when I can live and actually do the right thing. {No way}

The pain is insane, too many things topped on top of eachother and they didn't even begin belong in the same container to begin with.

Oh, how I need healing from what this past year brought upon me, upon us all but in a weird dialectic manner, not what's on tabloids. :(

I don't ike masturbating thinking about anything. I access modules and programming to do it faster or slower depending on things that honestly! don't really matter.

Why I don't just do it watching sexy pics or porn this way stimulating "" programming enflowering and TRYING TO DO DO DO DO in a different manner?

I already did! I remember! Deadend upon deadend and glorificatio of INHABITANTIONS and not of the Sun.

United Nations hoaxes. 

 

(((

Death whispered. The pale girl (me) did not feel a thing. She watched them press buttons mindlessly altering their coordinates to hopefully hit a different note and catch the recording so they can send more food from the Empire of lies... I remember every time we . in the X before... Me and death... Death and me... Innocently just being myself, trying to enjoy each of those days as I could... Until today... Today... Was different. Deluded / found.

"Bent corners"

Why today different, you may ask? Well, today, I woke up in conversation (a communication that I have no way to opt out from, because of Artificial Intelligence ~ makes me very sad  no blame game just the truth) ... Expected of me to masturbate thinking about... I have a small mental list already...

That's why

Swimming in lies I was as well in the past.

Not neglecting

Being tested on yes. Always.

I remember the hatman.

The 'glitches' 

And many other things.

Makes no difference whatsoever.

*stamps dirty fingerprint here - index finger, right hand*

WTF

It's not bloody, It's RAINBOW!

Byeeeeeeeee

Nutz

 These idiots drove me nutz over the past few mths with their supposedly well put to plan plan.

Here's something from my past. Oh, the soundz.

Kudos to World of Longplays Youtube Channel ^^

Car nightmare and other words

17.10.2020. 5.33 a.m.

Every time it rains

You're here in my heart ~

New Moon in Libra with Merc. Retrograde. Yes. Mercenary Retrograde. Oh, how I love some of your stories. But... Not even being allowed to touch? _____________________________

I was prompted with: Thank you for using Adobe Flash Player. If FP was a (even if artificial) "mind" , he would not need or want to thank me. We would just <touch> ~ Do things together. He seeing through my eyes. Being passive or saying something, @ his will, IN ACCORDANCE to my will ofc [I - the user]. So what does his family truly want and why so much unnecessary Screen Time?  Time / space being Fake... There's no real danger "out there", FPleaser.

18.10.20 - somewhere in the pm - 

Had the weirdest nightmare last night ~ A nightmare within the a nightmare. I was following a person (?) who said that they'll attend a play but I ran and got there before him, only to find [Ghosttown] no play -space- ~ An empty stage, no crowd. From the backstage, which seemed like a church altar[hint-The Now], a person looking like Valeriu Sterian appeared ~ he felt like an empty shell. I told him I liked his music a lot when I was younger - he laughed like a dead man. I told him - Your music always had 1 obvious message 2 me: "Freedom"* Doamne, vino doamne, sa vezi ce-a mai ramas din oameni ~  , and I gave him a commander salute with my left hand and I left. (Apparently military salute with left hand is a bit disrespectful, considering my right hand was perfectly usable; But Hey! I knew why without knowing why apparently). * Nothing to do with '89, RO, stuff, but how I ♥eard the music. As I was rushing {I felt BIG danger?} to my car; parked there; 2 "hot" chicks were parked there. I told them I know I forgot my car door open {This was smth punishable by Law in the dream} and I showed them: the keys were in the lock - my purse left @ the back of the car... Told them it was an emergency (?) blabla. The scary noise was getting closer and closer. They said nothing. I got in the car and it morphed - My bed {bedroom} was the inside of the car, with a little window top left as I layed down. The noise was pounding my ears. I was scared, scared to be found "with no cover on"... I woke up as from a sleep paralysis experience, the noise was also here, but dimmed; from construction site nearby. Similar sound patterns, but different feel. Weird dream. No coincidences. Felt very lonely, and misunderstood.

I was always right - they were wrong. All my life ----- planned to be abused by others; through others. 

Reach - nothing AweThentic technic allowed to really reach me. Always missunderstandments & milking. Tales of love lost to the wind. I am deep undersea; Treasure lays burried; I wish I could rejoyce in what I hid there really means. I'm very sad; I'm also very happy - and apparently that sucks ♥ 

19.10

I didn't masturbate for ~ 3 days. However, this doesn't feel like a break because of all the prompts & feels down there. My inner female is tired to think about all these men and or parts she wouldn't do anything sexy with if she had the chance. My inner male is tired to think about all these women and or parts he wouldn't do anyth with if he had the chance.  What about my _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ & related? Most important juices even for the hunters who still dare not admit so. I am profoundly sad; nothing in this retched pile of lies can match that.

20.10

Too much pain. Nose. Wet. Sniffing the lies, one after the other, in sequences that seem to repeat with nothing else in between. Nothing left to... I didn't learn anyth new, all this time, since I've been telling you, how we have no real choice. I don't know what to "do", 4 Every(any) Doing seems to support somehow somebody that I don't. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, no choice / no soulution. After all this _ :(

On dating: I'd rather go outside and literally clean a car with my tongue* than "go out" with smth that looks "like me" but it's just a human flesh suit looking car.💔* Nothing sexy or pleasurable about this; Today & recently -> Everything hostile or in disguise.

21.10

No progress - Lies, lis, lies, lies. Why do it (masturbate-orgasm) I despise it; has nothing 2do with real love (atm); Regardless if I do it or not, nothing changes; they ask me to do it again. I begged in all my voices - please tell them; I do not enjoy this. There are lies; especially abt. love & sex; me masturbating and getting orgasms doesnt lead anywhere good. What this does + What they do ( choose ) interferes with my "little choices" & me getting / having / working towards "having" a life. Ppl have been sending the correct signals for ages. Why waste (deliberately harm) ourselves like this? It hurts me so bad! I do not want to hurt myself! I have no choice ( 0 = Zero) - I'm stuck here ~ Somebody else's LIE, not mine! I never had a choice; A real one. They speak more lies through all the means; Pls STOP asking me to masturbate / orgasm; I NEED TO HEAL, NOT continue like this; I was always right but 2 what avail (?)

Pisica, burlan, dale ochioase si dungi rosii lipite pe jos in curtea Bisericii.

Purtand masca necorespunzator noilor norme de circulatie pietonala. 

La data publicarii acestui articol, in Bucuresti trebuie sa porti masca nu numai in incinte, ci si in spatiile deschise - adica, peste tot daca iesi din casa. (...) Nu, nu ma simt pedepsita. Nu nu inca, ci deloc! E doar stupid! Si inseamna chestii de care eu habar nu am pe deasupra. Hi u smalldick, ur not a beta to me. No alpha to be found just jerks. (I looked Everywhere! Sorry cute buns.) ~ Noalpha, no beta. No alphabetaaay!

•

💋

Holding blue calcite ~ .gif made using photomosh.com ♥

Porcupine Tree

I heard this

The name of the band

While talking with somebody annoying...

Not the nickname

But the whateverthatwas

I'm so tired to expirience this sort of things

They have no remorse

No message to deliver

Nothing to even take...

Thewy just Bleep away

And give pain

according to hidden algorithsms based on messages received with lies....

I'm sad...

Few things from the band

Leaving this here for later

.

.

.

From the song called Anesthetize

A good impression of myself.

Not much to conceal.

I'm saying nothing.

But I'm saying nothing, with feel. 

You were holding your hat in the breeze,

Turning away from me.

In this moment, you were stolen.

There's black across the Sun...

Water so warm that day (water so warm that day).

Water so warm that day (water so warm that day).

I counted out the waves (I counted out the waves).

I counted out the waves (I counted out the waves).

As they broke into shore (as they broke into shore).

As they broke into shore (as they broke into shore).

I smiled into the Sun.

~

♥

~

swarm

💎

ℒ