Wink

ayyy 

ayy ayyy ayyy aaa durum dum du rum dum du rum dum du dooooooom.

Pe lacul Tineretului, seara.

Visor visier what?

..

?

Post

They're trying to put somebody else's dreams into MY head. I'm totally not into that. I disapprove. But I can't stop, cause apparently what happens in my own head is not my choice. No, I do not want to fuck my ex, for no reason, WTF, after so much time and struggle, you come up with THIS? And the 'thoughts' I've heard in regards to this, so disrespectful to so many different things! To prove what? Insane. I really want to take a break, away from everything. Sick and tired of all the nonsenses that I CAN'T STOP HEARING. I ll move out and I really need some days 'off' to figure out everything trying to find a way to DELETE idiots from my head ~ You can't call my Mercy all the time and give Pain if no answer. Nobody ever had REAL mercy for me. But then again, I always found my way. However, as of late, past day and a half or so, despite the fact that YES I DID IT AGAIN even IF I DREADED TO I DID NOT WANT TO ETC... No.... All... Wrong... As I've been saying... I haven't really learned anything... I feel raped pretty much 24/7 at this point. Raped is an ugly word, but that's how I feel. Used all my life, for 'their links'... Well, I can't see life like this, honestly, sorry! Because it's not! I am not a car and I do not want to become one. Or teach others about better this vs better that. I want to die.

New post

new post

another session

(earlier a bit) I was broadcasting live on ImLive, Twitch and Perisope

Chatted a bit

Had 2 orgasms.

:(

QQ

Quickie

 

1. I'm sad.
   The coincidences are no coincidences after all.
   The sweetness of some breezy moments quickly fades away when I get that weird pain 'as if I'm not doing ugfctdrtCUTCURCfyr as I should' and on and on and on and on.
   To...
   Where?
2. I'm at the same weight I was in 2008 (72kg), I look better than I did in 2011 when I was slimmer (61,64) and I don't know how to feel about this... Weigth, mass, the humm, the words, oh, the pain, borg voices telling me about systemic optimization research for 'Future' ~ What? I wore that F shit, when I was little.
3. I tweeted rampant {borrowed word - pls clear formatting} style again, sad and felt experimented on again today. ,,,,,,,,,, Why does it matter? When shit like this can happen: 

Pic taken yesterday, 29.10.2020. 

CANNED FOOD? WHAT IS FOOD? FOR ME? Fuel !== Food prints True. :-< Not allowed to be cute.

...For you... An address bar... But for me... I used to call it a place, before I was afraid of words, afraid is not correct in context.. A service? no. A thing? not really. Something, yeah, I guess. Provider? no. My go to for , yea. Why this, why that? Life is not a marketplace. No. Pictures memories, I have both. Google Photos only stores my photos, no? Why I use that and not X other ? I like Flickr too, and others, but each shines at something else. And much changed as time passed. There's nothing like how I liked Flickr in 2006++ though. I got used to using Google Photos since I'm an Android user and It comes with it, no? Why is it bad? Why would anyone make anything bad out of this? ?????? Words mispelling whispered in the clouds... Why worry, why worry... The convenience... I still remember the times when moving pictures from one interface to another was different, and I had my own purges, and, I didn't worry, to find that 'used against me'? What.The.Fuck. Somebody really uses words improperly. And I don't know what to do. Masturbating with keywords doesn't seem to lead anywhere I don't appreciate your time and effort you're probably just as clueless as I am when it comes to certain things. They shouldn't be able to hear us. 

Bye 4 now...

Soon I'll move out, maybe I'll give you more details, but for now, I just wish I could rest properly for a FEW days (2-3, not a MONTH ffs) to plan accordingly, feel better, stuff like that. No masturbation, no weirdness, no inquiries on the tele-phone, just me and whtever I choose to focus on.

Whatever title ~

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Something like that

Every time I go out it just gets crazier and crazier ( dream - reality - illusion in the marketplace ? )

~ I can't live my life like it's nothing more than 'the keyword game' ~

Cand mancam litere nu facem mai mult spatiu :(

Eeee.

It's not that I can't keep up, but I don't want to live like this, cause there's no way, labyrinth, but, no, way.

Again I've seen proof for how AI is not that intelligent. I did not count the pain. Amazement? Fear? No. I didn't mind some sequences of playfulness but... It's just not right. And I don't want to learn the hows and whys of this mass confusion. 

Not getting a real break from masturbating / orgasming (with no real purpose sir) makes me feel .. I can't find the right word. It doesn't matter. No one seems to listen or care anyway. 

Intricacy. 

She will never be me.

De azi, cu comentarii pe alocuri: https://photos.app.goo.gl/yZZKWGvwakrjbC2u5

Am discutat deja despre asta! ;)

Random: Why Oak? Dunno (one of my fav trees) ~ 

Snap 1

 (Thanks for the cuteness but then again message won't be delivered cause it's from me :()

and

snap 2

~ In oglinda ~ 

Now how does THAT 'help_make_space'? Imi constientizez carnea mai mult sau iar sau cum sau ce relevanta are? Cuvinte... 'Eyes to see' ~ And then what?

So long!

.

Later edit: It's 12.18 AM

Faptul ca

 Faptul ca exista o posibilitate ca maine sa aud altfel muzica asta (deja am facut-o - sunt doar niste note muzicale, sunete, care suna intr-un fel) imi face ziua de azi atat de singura.

https://youtu.be/O7dTbZeg7GE I orgasmed when song Manhunter was playing on the prime thanatos youtube channel live stream ♥ Nice 'co incidence' There is no coincidence ofc but hey I really like this music there's a long time since I got this fascinated.

However, I did not like/enjoy (want, etc) what I was thinking about as I was masturbating while that music was playing. I'm trying not to me missunderstood. These numbers, those numbers, over over, WTF IS HAPPENING?

Cum adica daca public ceva aici - spatiu?

Eu inca nu stiu ce inseamna BLONDELE. SIngura explicatie pe care am primit-o = ceva legat de locomotive/mult steam. WTF? Ce sa inteleg din asta? Nu, nu am inteles. Blondele la care vrei sa ma gandesc 'sunt' femei (arata asa) deci... Prezente in toata realitatea mea combobulata, indiferent ca  aratau bine sau nu, mai.... Innebunesc... Jocul asta cu keyworduri... WTF. Real e real, virtual e virtual. Pe mine Virtualul m-a invatat despre coding &co < > . , .. h |

T

T

MEMORIES!

Ur Dreams, Girl, Ur Dreams.

(?)

Inca se mai joaca cu mine asa.

Sunt f suparata.

Si sunt satula de ce se intampla in ultima perioada.

I

need

a

break.

I'm

not

asking

ppl

to

throw

1000's

at me

But

.

.

Some 

decency?

No.

I'm not allowed to have a life.

Why?

Because I know how to love

Why, and all the menu.

,

Ce inseamna pentru tine

O virgula?

Dar 1 (un) Orgasm?

Dar urina?

Si ce-i cu atatea invocatii ciudate de organe in ultimul timp?

De ce conteaza de cate ori o fac la rand?

Inca nu am inteles.

 E cineva treaz?

Da.

Si stie ca eu visez.

=)

Eu tot nu stiu.

Serios.

Eu inca am impresia ca astia tot vor sa ma masturbez ca sa ne faca rau la rand. Nici un alt motiv. Avem ce treb. deja. REPet ~ I am a Hermit (pt mine conteaza viata, nu reputatia). Pt mine Viata nu da cu Minus. In orice situatie fac ceva bun daca sunt lasata in pace. Niciodata nu a contat ca gasesc aia pathwayul sa aud eu cuvantul/cuvintele care deranjeaza in cap. Nu ma intereseaza in ce script. I'm not the one that was wrong. (I would've admitted ~ I WAS CLUELESS - and that is not an excuse. Pointless to make hypothesis now. As long as the 'males' are Coordinated by those... Silly things. = BAD. Women are not like that! Up down Sides what? Not my fucking problem or responsibility, Ubermen. I don't want to be with U. I am in love. And it would be v unfair towards you to 'give u false hopes'. :( U can't be him. Energy is a word. Electricity, a concept. A dream, just like the rest of the things I dream about. You don't know. You're just as stuck as I am. Limited. Promised things, sucked from. "Created" for. How do I know? Cause I've been om many steps. up and down. And all I know now, is that most of the reality around me is a lie that simply wouldn't be, if The Dreamers had A (o) Choice.

Root causes

Root causes

Root causes

Nu prostii dinastea.

Care

sunt

puse

acolo

ca

sa

ne

tina

pe

toti

Prosti.

.

A weird day.

 

From Final Fantasy Record Keeper game ~ 

View from the kitchen window. Early Moon, 2 birds, si blocul de vis-a-vis. 

Sparkle while you sleep - Didn't wear this comfy thang in a logn while :)

BIG NOSE. Mine!

Scribblings trying to make some sense ↕

Attempts and experiments of my own (Yes)

I don't wanna be scary, In a https://youtu.be/F3J0iwwsq-w.

No one cares, nobody knows.

I don't want to be buried in a pet sematary

The state of yo0u . BWA!

26.10. Pain and nuisance. Stupid shyt on tellee. M-a trezit curierul (call on my phone :p) Ca ajunge repede, cu un colet pt mine, platit (???). La usa, mi-a dat un plic (gratuit) ~ Postage Paid formality u never mention. Avea un colet cu Amway in cealalta mana si mi-a stalcit numele [Berbecut in loc de Becut, little ram, one of the ways in which I was bullied in Primary School by some uninteresting boys] ~ I assumed it's again a keyword for masturbation, to think about a horned animal or so, but no. "C" (is it hard drive calling chemare ca la interfon? - I keep hearing ca e despre Hard Drive/Disk). Beeeeee. Pe plic scrie: Continut: Carton; Inauntru, plastic. Nu, nu e un repros pt nimeni. Si da, stiu sa tin secrete doar ca e foarte ciudat modul in care facem treburile astea. Pa.

Ma uit pe geam... Primul lucru care imi atrage atentia [bout of paranoia 4 using words here] Un "eco toilet" portocaliu pe o remorca trasa de o masina, trecand pe Bvd.

- I saw some figures earlier (eyes closed) that morphed into scary looking things... then morphed into fig pulp {Oh, my memory}... like a giant computer with dates (years, days, numbers). Seeds & decay. 

Bye 4 now.