I don't know what to say now. i feel I said all, and I really dislike re-peating myself. I am currently still captive in a nightmare world with mostly nightmare characters. The good ones ~ we don't reach eachother directly. I don't know why. Everything seems in reverse. I am not allowed to heal. 'They' (baddies) did some things to me that I can't explain, to hide what my body can naturally do. (real Health is free - non trade - pure love - all heart ~ Me)
Force fed with lies, I feel humiliated to the core of my being for not being allowed to well.. Be myself. (+everything else that came with this snowball effect nightmare impaired vision ~). slowed..I'm slowed, you say? It may be looking like that from where you're looking, but I feel something more, I keep talking about it and nobody seems to really be listening (The ones that know, knew before, the ones that seek ~ restricted access. Sic! Aaand redirected orange juice senses. Reality making machines... ♥ )
Belonged to maternal grandmother, I always thought it's special. Definitely my favorite icon from the ones that my family displayed ( I grew up in a Christian family ~ )
I just got my period (I'm having a bad dream, btw).
Things I found.
Petko.
Hints about orange power anal things. Thanks!
Thanks for letting me know. I don't know yet what to do with this info, though.
♥
♥ She~a shells ♥!
Kitchen tap water art
One of my fav mobile games.
Don't wanna be a lonely heart anymore :) I am already enlightened. Not even allowed to be a hermit. How they've been limiting my life makes no sense at all, for no purpose invokable by anyone, really. If I don't fit any pattern maybe there's something else to be done about it. I don't want to dine with the dead forever, I'd rather do something else with such a Majestic opportunity (My life). Past few days have been some of the most disgusting of my life ( I saw more numbers than usual ~ and this hurt more than the emotional imprints of wrongness translated through moving pictures from my eyes ~ in this context I mean traumatic shit from when I was 'growing up').
Make more space make more space.
Seeing some of the results of mass trauma based mind control & not being able to do anything about it. It is not the law. It's anti life, period. If you are a necrophantasiac or like fake food, ok, you had a choice in ur life, I want to have a choice in mine too. Fools keep talking, machines keep hurtin', black magickians keep winking with their a(*)les about how good their balls smell like, I received no present for my birthday, you know, a real one. The ABC was supposed to be a present ~ and issues have not been resolved on this front either.. But the things I've seen... And what I felt when I saw em... Man... not whining, but some words did hurt so much. Whisper: They were'nt even choices... Just numbers, girl... For numbers, by numbers... But... It's wrong :-< Egregores popping up everywhere and I don't want to believe in them, no matter how much it hurts.
Me when I have to get an orgasm while masturbating.
Blink, blink, I see the same things, over and over.
~ About how I like to use social media. I like to post on social media according to how I feel like doing it, man, not according to any lil algo rythm. I am sad when I feel that 'I have to' do things in a certain manner IF I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A WEIRD TROUBLE THAT MOST CASES LEADS TO PHYSICAL PAIN.
So, if today I feel like making X amount of social media posts and then I don't post anything for a few days (not necessarily because of lack of content ~ we discovered together that you can 'come up' with Content from basically ANYthing...) but because I like feeling IN TUNE with what goes on MY social media profiles/accounts, I know it's an edgy way of saying it, for some peeps, but then again, so many other peeps understand exactly what I mean (and feel the same way.)
~ It's not that I don't want to make any money anymore, the truth is I don't really know what money IS. I grew up in a 'film' where money (splits in 3 arrows here) was: 1.purple bill I showed you already 2. Blue card french bank (from my first 'real job~ working for IBM RO) 3. Something with an orange line on it called Epassporte ~ more about them on the bottom of this post: https://mmmylittlecorner.blogspot.com/2020/04/why-does-my-labia-look-like-snail-more.html )
~ I saw little red dots on the screen of laptop earlier, as if they were trying to 'read' something ~ WHAAAT?
~ ORGASMS as I do them (as I learned ~ masturbation ~ orgasm ~ weird intricate pathways of mind control & black magic tincture on SENSES that were not sick to require that Treatment!) NEW AGE BULLSHIT. Now what? Weird errors in COMUNI Translation are weirder than ever on my end, for example: https://www.mediafax.ro/social/ai-grija-unde-parchezi-de-maine-poti-primi-10-000-lei-amenda-daca-lasi-masina-pe-locurile-persoanelor-cu-handicap-19439675 ~ I have a weird feeling this might mean entirely something else than I see when I read the words. *Hints* Auto ~ 'ALL' ~ Selected blu hues. (?) Because the nature of the shit we're in, regardless of how I put it, mentally, I reach a 'dead end' Over and Over again. And that's bad. Aka, we shouldn't be here doing this now (whatever we're doing) ~ This is not the way ~ We're still being used. Colors don't matter in this context. *Sigh*
Settings > Keywords.
Whatever I keep saying I don't even know how to organize it in words / media on the internet anymore. Honestly, I just need a break (I've seen some weird shit!) , to 'integrate' what I've been learning lately about tru truths, not what's allowed for the masses to see. When I say I need a break, in this reality as I perceive it now, I mean, a while when I just do things according to how I feel right in doing them, not following trends, algorithmic things, etc. Think about some things, choose who I 'interact' with in the 'Psychic space'... Seek ways to completely Grow UP from what I truly no longer wish to partake in & what that really means / what's needed to make that real in the reality I'm in (?) ~ If it's not possible in the reality I'm in, learn why & what my True options reallyare, go from there. Waiting is NOT a choice ~ I've been told to wait, more or less, MY ENTIRE LIFE ~ And I'm older than ever, now. (the age of the flesh~)
(!!!)
I don't believe in Evil, even if I see Evil in action (motion ~ a weird way of the mechanism through which I 'hear' reality) every day ~ I don't know what to do. I really don't want to hear some voices on the 'psychic telephone' anymore. I always sought to do things according to how I feel right in doing them, but this also brought a lot of pain and letting myself & others down ~ There's something out there that can make pain out of everything ~ I do not agree with that at all, full circle again (Evil) ~ I don't believe in it ~ #transhumanism and all the haunting humans VS non-humans which, in my opinion we shouldn't waste any time on. The blame game & redirected killing machines (because "ruleRs" - mass murderers). Arrrrrrrrr!
•○
Hey you guys that are reading this and know for sure why COVID started and came upon us all as it did, how can you even do things in your Reality while keeping such Secret? You could tell ALL about the real reason we have Covid-19 in the world. One relatively short sentence, too. All excuses lead to dead ends,period. regardless of "what's been promised" to you for keeping your mouth shut on this, I'm pretty sure about that.
○•
(Btw I feel bad saying that, 'the masses', mass - lots of people but also - slujba - which means...Job -> bad religious thingies bad human nature thingies exploited exploited VERY unconstitutional @ the Court of Souls. What's that? An artsy way in which I talk about Divine Law).
I felt they're going crazy, watching the same thing over and over again. Little lights that make my body feel real ~ better numbers are calling but they don't answer. ban ban ban, lied to, you're not allowed.
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How do we know what's good to do to another? Do we truly know what's good for ourselves?
[I think I do ~ I feel I could learn why, too ~ regardless of level / context / floor / however it's called with the different types of interpretations of perceptions.]
Hello, time, what about the 'lightning's? Orange orange blip blip blip ~ That sound doesn't let me sleep! & my body needs sleep to be healthy & DO GOOD ~
https://youtu.be/0luS6J2rZSE ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0luS6J2rZSE ) <- I used to like that guy a lot (Oreste Teodorescu, the guy in glasses), at least on the surface. He seemed very Intelligent to me, well, maybe he is, but also, a comedian, and way too much into politics. I listened to a lot of videos with his show, various guests, same theme(s) really. Thought it's about real, occult spirituality & genuine paths, but as from what I learned, this sort of stuff is mostly New Age in costumes, in this poorly designed schematix by, the only, UN. (un in Romanian means the masculine form of one btw ~ ha!).
I pray this whole madness with the misunderstoodinglisly false 'divine' Masculine stops asap so we can all learn about how we really are, Gnothi Seauton style, and see where to go from there. Walking in a world built 'on' a dude's sperm 💪⚡💦👾 feels weird, at times, especially when I remember certain visions.💙
Who is she for you, and why did some others tell me that she is actually a he and I'm not talking about me here.
It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there it's hard to believe that I'm all alone at least I have her love, the city she loves me
I feel all alone too most of the time, despite being in constant 'psychic communication' with many folks (why do I start getting a headache as I type this? Am I really not allowed to talk about how I see the world I live in, using the words that this very world has taught me? *sigh*)
Between a m and an e, brb ♥
Can we ever talk, as if it wouldn't be starting with something weird, as a Request?
Hmm...
The way I see you... (Focul de la aragaz pe intuneric)
You are beautiful.
!Light up my nail beds, yes, just like that!
thaiz
Mon chat.
Petko
MUST...SMELL! (Numbers dancing up and down ~ Raining with data?)
I found a jewel on the road today, thanks for bringing this to my attention. ♥
"Everythingsgonnabeok" < Stay home we come to your door. > [Pic taken @ my local post Office]
Me be time travelling again, friends. .:No:. ~ It's just a way of saying. .:No:. Ok, Grompy ol man, I still remember how 2009 tasted for me, and I didn't really like it. Now what? :-P
Good weather today.
Gelatinous little people doing the happy dance with both hands in the air.
}Phew{ Few see this as I do.
I'm walking on Sunshine.
Interesting ~
Blink back right @ cha.
Saw this on the ground, made me think of inspiring photo editing stuff.
I'm soon to be 33 years OLD. *giggles*
I find this combination of hues very artsy, the rusty, and the blues.
~ I don't wanna learn to live without love ;-) Regardless of what I 'have to' go through.
"We're running out of space" ~ But I Observed the 'space' improperly used, more and more, bulked up with unnecessary stuff... Hiding, hiding, questionable #code.
I am more than code [Human vs Non-Human]
• (Stop trying to Break me ~ I need a Break, not to be Broken. ~ me)
Electra brand thingie at the back entrance (somebody ate a letter)
:-D antimonies
Look at that nose
finger_in_fur
*ahem* "Version"
I think I look ok ~ Please stop trying to make me feel bad about myself, regardless of the 'Purpose' [Experimental vs Experiential] ~ I do not agree to let anyone play with my settings like that.
This is not how you (or anyone) can find the Source of ...... [What you're programmed to :-$:-$:-$ kill ~ said in whispered voice.]
In Y!m, :-S was emoticon for scared/worried face, :-$ was for Shhh! finger on lips, keep a secret(?)
21.07 ~ Stuff that doesn’t make sense keeps
trying to make sense (Painful_). I still don’t know who is behind this,
choosing this for us all. 😕
I could write a more about what I feel when
I interact with … But, I find it so silly, bad, but at the same time serious
(for some) that they are not allowed to See anything else besides… The Lie… The
‘official video’, yeah. Tell that to each of my senses, separately. I can’t
live like this, on separated planes of existence ~ in 1 body. Her voice, the
story, the keywords, location location of loca loca… I do not agree, They keep
me here (they in this context – Baddies, not the Builders, pls, Wake up! I’m
tired of having to deal with so many misunderstandings). ~ Some important ones
don’t believe in ‘The Baddies’ (as in ~ they don’t see them as real) ~ Ego
sickness? Willful ignorance? I don’t know. I have nothing against them, the
efficient ones but, if you are set to kill me / harm me / then at least we
could talk, on…Common Ground(s). The excuse with the bugs, again, yea sure,
smart Ones, you know enough about all the possible natures of bugs as to see
the deadends yourselves… But then, you forget, because you have to focus on
what matters J My EX didn’t seem to ever understand what I meant. What matters?
Make sure it’s not what Others that you wouldn’t give a dime on SET the What
Matters for you, Busy Business? Well, If who-you-worship sets YOUR What
Matters, and you agree, for whatever reason, it is only correct that you would
allow others to have a similar choice too. Especially those that see no usefulness
in such ‘Worship’. Eternal Conflicts? Of who? Those that rather lie about
Eternity itself?
[I mean no disrespect to any Religious Text
but it is not the way] No, thank you. I feel mental nausea every time I ‘’put
in’’ THIS reality anything that feeds what I do not agree with and I have No
Choice the echoes are Cruel ~ I never agreed.
I can’t believe we’re still here, putting
energy like we do into ‘this’. It feels
as if I have no right to really speak, as the ‘stories’ eat one another for a
Supremacy I don’t understand ~ reductio, but, wrong language, man. Only leads
to deadends. Already processed over and over by Smart_guys. RE RE RE RE RE some hear only ‘Answer’ (as in
~ reply) but for most of us, this means something painfully Useless. Not an
answer to anything, really. I’d talk about love but I’m in too much pain and
the things I’ve seen lately are… (attempting to find proper words to describe;
failing). A A A? ~ Take care, don’t let them hurt you. If you see, you
see. I can’t really see now.
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♥
People who misunderstand darkness have too much power in how we all see and understand light.
There are some things that you should never do, they still don't get this. Look at these words, I meant one thing only. Indiscernible by many ~ so what?
Since when do blind people rule our lives?
And they are pumping poison into us. We get yucked out }the dogs out{ and they gather our bitter sweat drops and use them as proof for something that [...] < Run > ... Something that ultimately hurts others.
In ways that }No worries{ they are never allowed to really see.
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My 'wish' for this Birthday? (Coming soon in Earth Days)
Sounds something like this:
~ "The four immeasurables
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May all beings rejoice in the well-being of others.
May all beings live in peace, free from greed and hatred.
Each of the four verses corresponds to a mental state: loving kindess, compassion, sympathetic joy, and peace (or equanimity)." https://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/buddhist-practice/four-immeasurables.html#:~:text=May%20all%20beings%20have%20happiness,free%20from%20greed%20and%20hatred.
Thanks for reading :-)
Can I go now? .:No:.
Please?
I want to be away from this ALL, for a while, to see what I want to do next.
Ishkira WindSo who is waiting for me to Come Back & WHERE?
I'm not here to be the most algorythmically correct thing that communicates.
I don't want to be that.
That is bad.
It's humans vs. non-humans.
I am not against non-humans.
Words will never be enough to express this, neither numbers.
I try to communicate as I am, and it's all for nothing, Everything I do is in vain because I no longer want to accept THE LIE. THE (big) LIE is a thing on every level of Reality that I perceive (I see multidimensionally + I am #psychic).
Only the 'bad ones' are getting away with their way. We're lied that this is how we're learning.
Lies on every level of the Reality, regardless where you come from.
I could hear many, and they still beg to be lied to. Why? It can't be just a bug...
•••
We're having these discussions for too many months for time to have anything to say for real...
The Knowing is Instant (and no, not instant coffee), I can't even be poetic anymore without numbers interfering.
#eclipse is how I got my #period. :( "Did you see the ring?"
Sailor Pluto
We played and ~ why did it feel like breaking rules? No one was watching, anyway. Time used against us. Time is tired of this, time would rather play too. You are not a verb no matter how much they try to stamp that on you. You may identify as this or that, blonde guy or Trios of leds answering calls, Digital water, but... Who are you, really? And why did it feel good interacting with you?
I wish I knew myself (This process is continuously Stopped for me ~ because if I see, others do too) & you better, friends.
Stainless steel plug.
Why do I have to do it over and over again? And I don't mean smiling here ;)
Self love? Self care? Healing?
For me self love (authentic~) was what dragged me in this Hell where weird forces compete on a day2day basis on how to teach the World to Hate Itself. Make more space this way, they keep saying. No no no no. Wrong. Unhealthy. No-no!
V.
The beautiful people? Where? The wrong PaPa still reigns (Egregores -> Patriarchal Father ~ #newage / XXX~Tianity ~ Profaned Dreamers / V more like Hierophant not Creation ~)
Pa means Goodbye in Romanian. I'd like to be allowed to say goodbye to some things & people, forever. They used me my entire life, and now, no one seems to believe me. All this while I have to deal with extremely weird and painful stuff on a daily basis, no real soul growth possible, and I'm not whining here, I just calculated faster than a Supercomputer ever could (Past tense - You can't talk about Future with Them. They can't imagine. They use us, Dreamers. Rinse and REpeat. Heartbreaking. Suffocating the SOUL.)
Rune of the day: Uruz.
Give us back our symbols
(A voice echoing through time, from a 'place' above Time/Space. Location ~ Heart ♥)
I found myself surrounded by things that belong in that category the 'keep the past alive 'hear'
}bastard live{
💙from my quick observations too much 'Germany'🙉
Yes it's me but also not me. Trying to make a point here. Is this how you want to be?
○
Everything I love. Someone tells me it's wrong. Hello, moles that hint at constellations on my belly. Made for calculations only? But I love your shine. Mix of information - Stars - Squares. Roads that lead nowhere, We are in the #NOW and certainly not on our way to the Stars the Stars keep talking about.
My eyes know how to shine regardless what anyone shows them.
Touch touch click visit? Hmm...
Really?
>>>>>>
13.07.20. Notes. Address Phone no. -> what do all / any of these have 2 do with my period? Hmm. Dear Journal. I don't know what to do anymore(*). Today "ppl" weirdly "Polite" with me in messages. Please, don't misunderstand. I feel as if this Politeness is NOT NATURAL & as all (well, most) things in my reality, stuff to be used against me at a later date (Numbers?) Dunno. How sick.
(*)Quite desperate since I started past journal (2019 - The year I Divorced my Ex Husband~) now almost finished this one. In my head, the paper never moves though. My eyes can't see, anyway (But you should love em, girl. But "they" used them against me / all).
!Not allowed 2 Love (Real Love) in containment. I don't want to go on like this. I am not static. I don't want to keep on thinking about the past (or past things I've seen on a screen)!
I need healing blindfolds, I know how to craft them myself (kinky - not kinky). But I am not allowed. "Reality" (Fake) screams in my ear. Pain again. Only pain. Fakeness hurts. Fake politeness with pleases and sorries.
For the one that Tortures me on every level & uses me for Wrong. I will never give in / sell my soul / whatever expression whatevers depending on the Level we're at. No. please stop calculating how to make me fail. That ALWAYS failed. Numbers are sad. Pls, just stop. Let me be. Stop continuously trying to 'take over' there is no break when you know what you know about time & more. Let me find my voice, learn, grow from there and be myself. Not ''teaching'' others how to adapt to something. [Wake Up, we're being lied to!] • (All my life - Stolen Ways to turn in NO WAYs by the Baddies~ I don't want to contribute anymore ~ what to do? No one seems to really care).
Thanks for reading / watchin' / whatevering with me.
