Azra's little corner: Good night morning afternoon

From my journal: thinking, hitting walls... feeling, envisioning someone hitting my head.

~ time again tricking me ~

I dreamt something "steamy" ~ I recall little dream parts. Someone was impersonating 'my love' - weird feelings of desire in my dream, [felt observed, didn't like to explore anyway]... Yes, I feel very lonely, I don't even know anymore what my 'horniness' even is considering the 'food talk' and experiments ~ one thing is for sure though, I really don't like waking up alone... Longest time since I was 15 without a [real] kiss unable to see on the horizon something like normal, real, healthy, communication.

Experiments lead to blasphemy.

• Horsepower; how did humanity get to horse porn?

• Why can't I get any real D - I don't believe that guy who told me he has no power to combobulate me one ~ !WRF! ~ How creepy was that..

• I feel like heavy metal ball (sphere) bounced around; weird and unnatural devices attempt to make me do things I'd never do under normal conditions (?)

• Masturbation and just that is not healthy sexual life for beings like me.

• I look at things I like, remember about the lil' ones powering up my reality and I wonder why nothing truly makes sense anymore...so alone... so not me... what a waste of...everything...these past months have been. 💔