STOP talking in my head!

Posted this on goddessazra.com on 17.09 ~

Here goes.

After last Orgasm, video here, I felt like screaming: Stop talking in my head.

~ "But that's how to get access to [...]"

- dar mai ales algoritmii de conducere, algoritmii adaptivi si elementele de inteligenta artificiala sint(sunt) susceptibile de perfectionari spectaculoase care sa ofere solutii de integrare intr-o masura si mai mare a robotului in mediul industrial sau al vietii sociale - Ceea ce este nou in lumea robotilor este tipul, marimea si acuratetea senzorilor, precum si "abilitatea" de a calcula (rezolva) ecuatii de miscare complexe, intr-un timp foarte scurt (timp real), pentru a determina exact semnalele operationale pentru robot. ~ din cartea Interferente in lumea calculatoarelor (M. Gorodcov, M. Oncescu) Stiinta pentru toti 313 Ed. Stiintifica si enciclopedica, Bucuresti 1989.

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Fascinated by this type of dream, hard to deal with reality constantly having to remind myself that IT IS, in fact, dream, nightmare, or spare parts. What I can't see, what I 'keep hidden' is more or less still the same, for reasons, even though I learned more about some pathways as of late ~ WHAT REALITY?! How (!) Do I do the (!) To WAKE UP?! I don't like to use codenames, I think it restricts and influences badly what could (&should) be good, authentic communication. < The struggle of not knowing what to do with certain Embeds ~ I hear ya ~ 'I give up' - Is that an Option? > No. ..

Previous articles/posts where I talk more extensively about some topics:

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/09/aa/

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/04/why-does-my-labia-look-like-a-snail-more-mysteriousness-es/

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/05/im-stuck-in-a-weird-reality/

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/05/if-its-trade-its-not-love/

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/06/i-dont-want-to-charge-you-with-my-trauma-also-i-am-not-bi-polar-bear-hugs/

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/06/this-is-not-how-you-make-a-girl-meet-her-doom/

http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/08/wrong/

and this one: http://www.goddessazra.com/2020/08/embed-2

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I'm wasting Time on nonsense while the reality around me goes on the same ~ What SEEMS different, I see that as flickers, or numbers moving from A place without a place, to another place without a place, In the Town where there was NO Space, But shit has to be done because UberCREATIONZ {another lie, IT'S JUST A FUCKING Dream, Dr.} ~ Did I enjoy my ignorant mind more (when I seemed more ignorant due to lack of operational input about the 'world around me') NO. I was (and still am, Parked (:P). The difference is that now my Body hurts a lot! [I hear: 'Can't afford' to show how nature works ~ health, self healing, rejuvenation, stuff like that ~ Click Clack there's no time, and I mean real nature, not Dirtied faked out church Mary EMpress worshipped misunderstood MOMMY situational sweetie ~ The 'SHE' that will Never be Me - artificial intelligence shit - Zero. ]] On a daily basis based on what I do/don't do ~ This is not me complaining, Just pointing out. ALWAYS worse when I 'need to' get my period. REGARDLESS of what I do. [ I am not willing to participate in any sort of NWO scenarios, my last 2 jobs proved me all I still needed to see about the Sickness of it all & How I wasn't wrong before either , for 'not really wanting a job', ever). I understand more & more from my past memories, but I see those things as, Optional information, considering I'm still stuck in this LIE that I DON'T want to FEED or SEE fed (anymore). Every time I get out of the house Something is milked, misplaced, mocking. Yes, I do still love a vast array of 'things' and yes I am very grateful for certain 'connections' & opportunities but, how I see the 'Situation' changing ( I wanted to say EVolving ~ but that would be feeding the Lie Wachine) it's weirder and weirder, and, wrong. No.

Journal thoughts:

16 September 2020: Woke up "with" pain, again. Same old discrepancies. Still not feeling good because of... Heck! I already told you about it. Tho, I still hold firmly. Adapting is a word that seems that it lost it's meaning in this mad cavalcade of pornication. I don't want to be "Here". Productivity -> Profanity. I don't want to "produce" anyth in this World [copy]. Ass? As soon as something "starts" making sense, again and again, we're not allowed to "Be"/interact in a good way (-).

17. I feel as if I'm in an airplane that doesn't fly properly (?). My (s)kin feels cold, am I dying? Why does every day lately feel like an infernal rush? "Burning hot" pain earlier - top of spine & below - between shoulderblades. The why's... The HOW seems silly, in this "context".

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