I don't think I'm alive in order to prove others the ways to take to constantly better yourself like in the story with the coal and the diamond. I see their eyes - red - hiding behind darkness. I don't want them to see me. We are not alike.
The guy in this song sounds like a dream. I wish he was more like a guy I could touch. Not the specific one in this song, but the guy that I want to be with. To be similar to me in a way constitutionally, I mean how we are constructed. To be able to touch and put this flesh to good use. Otherwise why do I have flesh for? If it's just an illusion how can I see past it? I wish I had a partner in crime where crime means giggling every night underneath the blanket.
~ even if I had such a guy in my life.. like a long distance relationship or whatever, somebody to call my boyfriend, [good company] etc. I still wouldn't do things like I do them now. I would know exactly what to do.
That's why I keep whining about the toll this past year took on me. All this masturbation, the wrong things, the intruders... I don't know for who I'm doing it or why but it didn't help anyone, I feel this 100%.
}de4 asses{ passes in vain. Everything I do is in vain. Only evil is preferred. I'm not in competition with anyone I don't want to convince anyone of anything I just want to be myself I want to be free to be myself. I don't want to hide anymore I don't want to masturbate anymore I don't want to think about all those things anymore. No progress no progress no progress there is just too much pain. So much lack of truth and understandment.
ishkirawind : It's not that I'm not understanding with you all, but I can smell the bs from afar. • ishkirawind : And this has gone too far. • ishkirawind : I'm just trying to have a good time, and wish for you the same. I doubt feeding egregores is how ANYONE can have a good time. ♥
