28 Jun 2021

nu stiu

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Rune: Perthro

Card: The Star

• Not feeling too well... (more) noise since yday - I don't like/ + same thing, nothing to do for real... Same "illusions"/ lies = THE reality + I can't dream. Pain when I think certain stuff. Like: Don't tell me what to do. Keywords/execute. It's been too long & I NEVER agreed! :( 💔 Asa ceva ar fi contat doar daca as fi fost de acord pe fata, friendly... ~~~ 

! Nu ma intereseaza ca/daca e casa cuiva! Momentele alea nu au insemnat nimic pentru mine cu adevarat (*) 

- "New" Twitch guy? Bulgarian Language nu inseamna nimic altceva pt. mine oricum, decat ce a fost 2019-2020 cu Twitch guy. (!)

- Money? Srsly? Money - love life - nu pot vbi asa. Not my problem translation errors/incorrect shit care reie din asta. :(

(*) ORICE (ALL) memories I have since that time when "I loved him" ~ thoughts, moods,ideas, ALL. Even now (every day) being played (as memories) in my head. Not my choice/not my liking. Ce ma deranjeaza si mai rau e ca semnalul trimis(de catre mine) e gresit. (!prob main reason why these memories are still played in my head. Not genuine psyche stuff - Not mine - not heart stuff - not genuine progression towards anything). Semnalul trimis e: I like/ I miss/ nostalgie. Etc. :( 💔 This is rape. Against my will. Simt ca ce treb sa invat e f. simplu. Nu mi se arata detaliile si nu e din categoria secret/ocult. Daca as vedea, as putea sa vb. in cuvinte despre asta... Eu nu cred nimic gen: nu se vrea asta. Nu cred in nici o poveste(narrative) ~ Viteza de calcul nu e folosita cum treb. <WITHIN> -> asa pot sa invat eu, si e ...... ca depind de altii ( nu are nimic de-a face cu banii) ca sa invat... My lvl... I'm not selfish... I don't mock anyone... Instant - reglare de conturi. 

Nu vreau pe nimeni as long as I don't learn what happened(What it meant).All.Full version. ♥ it's the only good way. Not interpretations. 1 version only.(many details. 1 story. {}) Has nothing 2 do with religion.

Pain. mockery. Too much time. Lack of honesty.

Don't ask me to hate words. If you have probl. like that, prob. I wasn't even talking 2 u. It's someone's choice 2 do this shit to me. Every day :(

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Dreamt Casio's cage was different. With soil & bug nests? Weird bugs. Like cicadas, but shorter wings. I admired them. Dunno the symbolism.

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Nu poti sa cauti adevarul imbratisand minciuni.

Your (understandment of) 'S' - not my problem. 


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